As one gets older the things that seem to scare us become more and more tamed and really not that scary. I remember the tense scene from Charlie and the Chocolate factory giving me nightmares. Agustus Galoop was stuck in the pipe and the intensity was more than my psyche could bear. Nowadays it is more humorous and watching Gene Wilder's portrayal of Wonka during that scene is a creepy joy.
Another scene that gave me endless nightmares was from some movie that we saw at church about the tribuation (mark of the beast). Fairly benign in most of the movie, the protagonist is taken to a guillotine and killed in that fashion. This whole thing scared me for many years, as I always felt that during the night that someone was going to come up and chop my head off. So I slept many many years with the blanket completely over my head. (as if that was any help)
Anyway, I got the opportunity to relive a bit of that childhood fear just recently. In this case, it's seeing the unexpected in the room during the middle of the night. As you may have read in previous entries that I have taken to wearing earplugs in order to eliminate something that I am hearing inaudibly. It works most of the time, except in this case, it wasn't audio that woke me. I was a little over gorged from eating and was suffering from some tummy complaints while at the same time I was becoming dehydrated. As you know I consider hydration to be one of the main factors of a proper sleep.
I was going in and out of sleep when I finally opened my eyes, and what I could see was that on the other side of the bed it appeared that someone was standing there looking at me. Well, I am not sure it was me, but I could see the person. Head completely off to one side (almost sideways) and was wearing what I could tell was a red flannel shirt. Mind you I don't have excellent vision and I didn't have my glasses on at the time, but I am fairly sure I was seeing something. I reverted back to that childhood fear and closed my eyes, but to my steeled reaction, the face was still there.
I am going to pause here, because I should mention something. I have noticed that there is some kind of dimensionality to vision. It's kind of a layering that we can ascribe scientifically. The reason why we have two eyes is for depth perception, but in some animals the placement of the eyes is something where depth perception is not the primary goal. Some lizards see in opposite directions. Personally I don't think our brains could handle the input in that fashion.
With depth perception we take two images from similar but not the same viewpoint and by combining them, we get depth or an idea of how close or far away an object seems to be.
Now if we combine the pineal gland (or as some call it the 3rd eye) in the process. Considering that the pineal is capable of receiving light based information (via the rods and cones contained in the gland), then it is possible that the 3rd level of layering can exist in between the layers of our existing eyes.
However, it is possible to close your eyes and still see through the pineal. Some scientists think that dreams may originate from this location.
Now I only speak from a scientific perspective here, because there are reports of astral travel or OBE that claim to produce memories and experiences while the spirit body is outside the corporeal body. I'll leave that alone.
SO back to seeing the face. I have my eyes fully closed, but because I didn't close all 3 eyes (pineal is a tough one to open and close) I still saw the face looking at me. (a bit clearer too as I don't wear corrective lenses for my pineal gland)
I had seen the face before. It's a bit stern as it looks at me, as the impression that I get is that I could be better than I am. At first I thought it was the spirit guide/angel/whatever that is around me, but the demeanor was such that it was non sequitur (did not follow).
So after rolling over I did feel something touch my leg and ankle. I can succinctly describe the sensation as a sudden and very light tingling. It is not even remotely close to the tingling of numbness or having your limb fall asleep on you.
I got up soon after that and went to the bathroom. First to get a drink of water and second to shock myself away from it. The childhood fear reared its ugly head and showed me something that I should unlearn.
Fear is irrational. It's a failure to process the information correctly. It's a reaction to what is unknown that flies in the face of understanding. Especially when it comes to understanding ones self.
Lately I am finding that I am understanding less and less of myself. I am going to call it a learning process, as I have nothing else to call it at this time.
Needless to say, I didn't see the figure again. I didn't know who it was. Until...
Morning came and I asked my wife if she knew anyone who wore flannel. She said her dad did. He died quite a while ago from a head injury while riding a bike. Anyway, we went about this morning and found a picture of him. When I saw the picture, a chill went down my spine and goose pimples started to form.
I've seen the pictures before, but I didn't remember the face that well. Anyway, the face was dead on. (sorry, bad pun) And while I didn't see a picture of the red flannel shirt (which I can't understand how I could see red flannel in the dark of night), I was told that my sister-in-law still has that shirt.
I am chilled. I should be able to deal with the childhood fear, but instead my primal reaction is to cower and pull back. It's almost as if I want to pull the blanket over my head again.
I need to unlearn this fear. That is for certain.
To close, I see learning as a cycle. First we learn so that we can know. Then we know so that we can share. And finally, we share so that we can learn.
That is why I share this information. It's a part of Nosce Te Impsum (to know one's self).
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