Rebirth in sedona

The past week I went to Sedona Arizona for a vacation that's been a long time coming. 

I don't usually get to take my vacations mainly because of work's client demands.  Basically there's something new or important to take care of every single day.  Also when I go on vacation, that's when clients freak and do even more stuff.  My boss even says I can't take vacations.  I think he might be joking, but it's not funny.

The problem with not taking the time to break away from your job means you are a prime candidate for burnout.  Believe you me, when I say I was close to burnout, I was on the precipice of actually burning out.  The only way I could ever see myself taking a vacation was either due to a holiday or by having someone make me go.

Holidays don't count.

So my in-laws reserved us a place with a time-share in sedona.  They took care of lodging and the flights there and back.  The rest was up to us.  Hard to argue, right?

It turns out the timing was perfect. 

There is nothing that happens in my life lately without some kind of deliberate purpose behind it.  Yes, it doesn't make sense all of the time, and I may not fully grasp what is going on "behind the scenes".  The key for me right now is "go with it".

Okay.  Off we go.

Sedona is a bit underwhelming but at the same time overwhelming.  Sedona is not a big place.  It's a small town pretty much in the middle of nowhere.  The big thing about the place is something called a vortex.

NASA has identified 21 locations throughout the world where there is a lot of earth/spirit energy that presents itself in a strong manner.  5 of those locations are in Sedona. 

The day or two after we arrived in Sedona, it rained.  The place is basically an arid location, and we had rain.  This allowed us to attend a lecture by the non profit group freesoul's founder Pete Sanders.  Their website is freesoul.net.

Mr. Sanders really knows his stuff.  He explained what is going on with the vortexes (yes, that's how you say it, not vorticies) from a completely scientific perspective.  He talked about where we get our pain response and how to counter it, and how to get the best benefit from the vortexes.

The way it was described is that while a vortex deals with spirit energy, it is more of the assistance of one's own spirit energy from the earth itself.  I did have a recorder with me and turned it on at a location or two just to see if the energy is possibly spirit energy and is able to communicate.

The entire place is a metaphysical mishmash of crystal shops and psychic readers contrasted with the appeal of mountain vistas and scenic destinations. That in mind, we did find the time to go to 5 locations of vortex like activity with 4 of them recognized as vortex hotspots.

The first one is not considered one of the major vortexes, but it is chapel rock.  Chapel rock is a chapel designed in part by famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright.  It's a very small chapel that overlooks a large portion of the valley.  It's precariously perched on a hill and takes a bit of a walk to get to the chapel.  This location is an upflow vortex. 

An upflow vortex is one that energy is pushed upward.  Imagine it as if it's a rocket sending your prayers/spirit straight upward.  By contrast is an inflow vortex.  It gives the sensation of pulling you downwards and usually causes introspection.  A combination of the two is a balance vortex.  A balanced vortex is as if the energy flows in a lateral manner.  Balanced vortexes will give someone a sense of well being as well as deal with issues in the past and future.

The second location we went to was Airport vista.  There's actually two vortexes at the location, but the main one is the rightmost hill of the tiny little parking area.  This one is the easiest of the hills to climb in my opinion.  It also doesn't disappoint when it comes to feeling the energy. 

I know most people think bell rock is the strongest.  We went to that one next.  The problem in climbing bell rock is that you really need to be nimble and fit in order to get to the upper levels of bell rock.  There's a 3 foot step up that you have to make and the climb up a tapered rock.  To us this was a bit beyond our abilities as we wanted to attempt.  The danger of it, is that if you don't place your feet correctly, the fall is quite a number of feet away.  We just weren't that daring.  The energy was supposed to be stronger there than airport, but I did not feel it as strongly.

The next vortex we went to was red rock crossing.  This is a state park and the entire path is along a mountain river.  This is probably the easiest one to reach, due to it's flat terrain. The vortex supposedly is in an area that is represented by a large area of flat rock.  We however, felt the energy was located earlier on the path, as we could feel our internal organs getting pulled toward the ground.

The last place we went to was boynton canyon.  That one is a bit of a combination and was when I really started to feel something.  To me it felt like a data stream.  A lot of encrypted imagery combined with the sense that it's "all part of the plan".  Yes, I do hear Heath Ledger say it as the joker.

We tried to go to a vortex on 11/11/11 but everyone had the same idea.  It was a bit nuts.  Instead we ended up checking out montezuma's well and castle.  The surrounding area of Sedona is besprinkled with these little native communities all of which disappeared around the same time.  (1400's)  All that's left of them are these ruins or crumbling house structures.

We also took the opportunity to take in a site of spectacular petroglyphs at the former v bar v ranch.  These glyphs are etched into the flat side of a hill.  The bacteria formed on the rock makes it possible to see these etchings.  There are a lot of them, and you can spend a considerable amount of time there thanks to the volunteer storyteller that makes them all the more captivating.  There were bugs there, so we found it a little annoying.

Before leaving Sedona, we took one more hike up airport rock to see the sunrise over the area.  This was probably the biggest thing that happened to me during the whole trip.

I am sitting there with my eyes closed just relaxing as the sun is slowly coming up over the eastern mesas, and something large shoots upwards in my vision.  It's literally a dragon.  Large scales on its neck and much bigger than a house.  This was the reason I was there.  To experience this rush of energy and to become energized and inspired by it.  That is exactly what I needed.  After soaring around through waterfalls of lava and fire, it took me to a lateral perspective of the rock upon which I was sitting.  I was shown the energy moving around the rock.  At one level, the energy spins one direction and at another it spun a completely different direction.  The energy I was experiencing was pushed through the center of these rotating fields of energy. 

As I opened my eyes, I had a sense of direction, better motivation.  If I imagine that dragon flowing through me, I find the relaxation of soaring on the wind.  I also feel a force behind me, imbuing me with a sense of confidence and a voice driven with a passionate fire. 

If there was ever a reason for me to get a tattoo, this is IT!!!  The imagery, inspiration and motivation of such a moving experience is something I want to hold onto for a very long time.

The world feels a lot better to me because of it and I think my place in the world is a lot better from that as well.

When will paranormal audio catch up with the visual?

It was the season ending episode of Paranormal Challenge and it was evidence review time and the evidence was being shown that I really had to create this rant.

The problem I see with any paranormal evidence has to be with consistency.  For example, it's now a foregone conclusion that chances are that there aren't any orbs on a picture.  99.999% those round things are either dust or bugs.  No way around that.  The sampling rates of the pictures will no doubt cause people to think there is a person's face or something like that in a picture.  In those cases it's called "matrixing" and is considered a think with your mind and not a piece of evidence.

Now, the question I have, is why aren't these concepts translated to audio evidence?  Since joining a paranormal group with a legacy of prolific EVP generation, I do question the validity of two devices.  The first being the notorious spirit box or sometimes called Frank's box.  The other is a device called the ovilus.

Frank's box (named after its creator Frank Sumption) is pretty much a radio set to continuously scan the radio dial.  The so named Shack Hack as it's made from a radio shack radio literally is a radio with the scanner set to not identify when it's hit a station.  Occasionally you'll hear little verbal bloops and bleeps, but supporters of it claim that a voice can come across several stations and say a short message.  This is fraught with problems.  First is that the message is subject to interpretation.  The second is that it's completely possible that a close station tower will broadcast across several positions on the dial.

Just like with "matrixing" there is a version of "audio matrixing" which means that a nonsensical part of a word will appear to sound like what you're expecting to hear.  Or you're hearing a phrase from a radio station and mistaking it for a spirit voice.

The ovilus is a rather unique device but it too is fraught with problems.  The idea of the ovilus is that a spirit can use temperature changes and emf fields to select words from the ovilus dictionary and relay them through the device.  The problem here, is that it's not practical in a investigative sense.

First the spirit isn't going to be up to speed on the ovilus.  The best you can hope for is that the spirit trips across the words its looking for at some ease.  Only with long sessions with the ovilus could one hope the spirit becomes adept enough to be coherent. 

The part where it all falls apart for me, is that EVERYONE (and I do mean that literally, as I have done it as well) is always repeating what's being said from these items.  Either they aren't sure they heard it correctly, or they just heard it wrong.  Whichever reason it is, it would be difficult for a spirit to confirm whether the statement is correct.  For the ovilus, if it's not clear, it's lucky you got the word in the first place.  With the franks box, it's a matter of being out of the frequency range following the message.

I do want to point out that early versions of the ovilus do not have a word display on the device, so even then the electronic voice can be misinterpreted.

I think that if there's any question about the validity of a piece of evidence, then that evidence must be thrown out.  Asking questions to confirm ovilus/box audio seems to fall under this guideline. 

So I guess that comes down to the big question:  Should audio retrieved from a Frank's/spirit box or an Ovilus be considered evidence?

I would totally say it isn't.  It's no more evidence than dots on a photo and saying that they are spirit orbs.

Now I am not going to completely rule out the Ovilus for paranormal research, but the device has to be in use for quite a period of time in order to be usable by the spirits at the location.  In team research this is a significant amount of time and can take days in order for a spirit to be coherent.

That being said, I do want to take a parting shot at the show Paranormal Challenge.  In the Jerome Grand Hotel season ending episode, we are told that medium Chris Fleming would help the team for 30 minutes.

However, the helping was to play a spirit box for 30 minutes.

I thought Fleming was a medium.  What is he doing with a spirit box?  Shouldn't he be pointing and saying go here, go there and that's where the teams would be getting evidence?  However, in looking at the wikipedia article, it's clearer that he's not a medium. 

To me, a medium sees, and communicates directly with spirits.  Any one who requires a device to do so... is not... ever... at all... even close to being a medium!

Calling yourself a medium when you're not, or portraying evidence when there is none, is just basically a form of lying.  You're lying to clients, you're lying to the innocent who don't know better and you're lying to yourself. 

I've seen spirits, I can sense spirit energy, and I get EVP's in my own NOT HAUNTED office, but you will NEVER hear ME calling myself a medium or psychic.  I'm not delusional like that.  I've been called sensitive, but believe you me, when I say that right now, it will give you a stern look. 

I just want the crapfest that is staining the paranormal world to stop.  Stop trying to say you've got evidence when you don't.  Stop saying you've got abilities when you don't.  Stop saying you're the best, especially when you aren't.  Karma is a rabid bitch, and she's in heat.

IT STOPS NOW!

The book of desires and the book of destiny.

I had recently been told that this idea I was working on was a good idea. I have been calling it the book of desires until most recently that I found out that it is also the book of destiny.

The whole thing stems from the concept of the "Law of Attraction". This is one of the most guiding laws guarding the spiritual reality we live in. Since learning about that law, I have identified at least 5 of these laws. We will address two of the other laws. That being "The Law of One" and the "Law of Letting Go".

The law of one talks about the interactivity between all of humanity. Scientists call it quantum entanglement. The bible calls humanity the children of God. To put it simply, we can see ourselves as Creators as we come from the Creator. It's just as if you get a glass of water from the faucet and instead of seeing it as a glass of water that you recognize it as coming from the ocean.

The law of attraction says that as a creator, the thoughts that you put into your existence eventually becomes reality. The law of letting go is that your thoughts will manifest much more easily when you accept that this is the reality you are creating.

I have developed a way to accomplish these things with a set of simple steps. If this seems too impossible, I only point back to the law of letting go and the practical application that says "just go with it".

1) To begin, you will need a spiral notebook. Any simple notebook will do. You need to be able to write on the cover and be able to tear pages from the book.

2) On the cover you write the following:
OPEN ONLY WITH A HEART OF GLADNESS AND GRATITUDE!

Write it with a huge sharpie. Underline every word. Write it as deliberately as possible so that every time you look at the book you see these words as clear as possible.

3) Underneath it, write your name. As large as you want.

4) On the inside write:
WHAT DOES YOUR HEART DESIRE!

It's not a question mark, because it's a demand. Demand only what you are desiring. Underline those words as well.

These are the only requirements to begin.

Once you can say you have a heart of Gladness and Gratitude, then you can open the book. Read the demand asking for your heart's desire.

Then on the first page, 5) write what your desire is.

Is it to lose weight? Is it for money? Is it a job? Write it down.

I do want to point out that how you say it is very important. One thing the law of attraction does not recognize is negatives. So by saying you want to "lose weight", you send out the idea of "weight". Instead think of being "thin". This is a more accurate state of where you want to be, because once the idea is manifested, what you are, is "thin" and not containing "weight". Don't say debt, say affluence.

Secondly, it helps to be specific. You want money, how much? You want a car, what color is it? What make, model, mileage?

You have the entire page (front and back) to detail this.

If you have other desires, place them in there as well. Each one gets their own page.

I should note that wanting something is not the same thing as desiring it. Sometimes manifesting a want for something only gives you the desire to "want". That's not the same thing as actually having it.

This is similar to a dream board, but I do say, that the book is really up to you. You have a cutout picture you want to go in there, do it! You are the creator here, and it's up to you to place what you want on your intention.

If ever your desire manifest then feel free to remove the page. Just tear it out.

I thought that by placing your desires in the book that it would be called the book of desires. That may be true, but it's what the intended goal, that really is what the book is about. So by creating and manifesting desires, you have created a book that details your destiny. It's where you are going. It is what you desire.

Now the book will take time to go from desire to manifestation. Think of it like planting a seed. You rarely will see a seed germinate immediately.

And just like planting a seed, just having a seed isn't the same as planting it. By placing your desires into the book, trust that it will manifest and it will manifest on its own. Occasionally a desire may need you to perform an action. This should happen as a course of natural progress.

Take the "thin" intention. Maybe you have a strong urge to take a walk. Well, then that's exactly what you do. Maybe it causes you to not get the large steak or burger the next time at the restaurant, but it's rather that the salad just screams out at you. It's like a roller coaster that all you have to do is get on it. You can't steer it, you just gotta let go and follow the ride as it tosses you from one turn to another.

Occasionally you'll look at the book. Once in the right place in your heart, you can look at your intentions. See how it is going. See where you are in relation to your original intention.

The book is yours. You can share it or not. You are the creator here.

Be realistic. If you desire a million dollars, know why you need all of that money. Sometimes it is more realistic to have enough to eliminate all of your debts.

If you have doubts, start with something that would seem more achievable. And by all means, be patient. There's more than enough time for the things to manifest. As long as you have the heart of Gladness and Gratitude, you will find the manifestations happening faster and faster.

With the things coming true, take that moment to laugh at that doubt you used to have and how it is replaced with the joy that sits at the root of your desires.

The book is a tool to help with understanding of who we really are. Once we know who we are, we are liberated enough to experience the rapturous bliss that is the ecstatic existence in which we are living.

And then laugh again, because that's how good you feel.

Have Dowsing Rods, will try to listen.

So I decided to start paying more and more attention to the ringing in my ears and pulling out my hand-made dowsing rods to see why my ears are ringing.

In 3 days I have had 5 spirits visiting me.

I'd probably have more, but if I respond to every one of them, I would exhaust myself in no time.

One concerning one was a little two year old girl that came through. She was lost and didn't know where her mommy was. She didn't know what year it was or anything like that. She was just too young. I only hope the guides that are with me in the journey called life were able to get her where she needs to be.

The rest were family members who have passed on. They come by and say Hi and stuff and I did pull out my recorder for one of them. Now I don't normally get a lot of EVP's, but then I never started fitting the pieces of the puzzle that is me together.

That is until now.

So I normally get a loud ringing in the ears. It's really high pitched, and it kind of resembles tinnitus. However, tinnitus is more like the ringing you get after being at a really loud concert. Don't get me wrong, but I know the difference. Frankly, they don't even sound the same to me. Tinnitus is more of a dull "wah", where the ringing I get is a "zing" type of sound.

The other thing that's been progressing is tiny little pin pricks of light in my visual field. They don't happen all that often, but when they do, they usually are pointing out something. Lately, I have started to pay more attention to them. Maybe there's something to them or there's an intelligence behind them.

Well, there is. Not sure how to explain it, but it's really pointing out something I am supposed to be seeing. Whether it's pointing out the crucial concept to a part of text or the direction of where I need to be going, these things just occasionally pop into existence in my field of view and then just as quickly they disappear.

So I am sitting at my work station doing my job and then the ringing starts in really strong. I mean it's like a teacher's bell in how loud it is. Anyway, I quickly grab my rods and speak out loud "is anyone here?" The rods normally don't respond all that quickly for me, except when they are getting manipulated by a spirit. They crossed as if there was a huge magnet sitting underneath them. If it made a sound, I bet "thoom" might be closest to it.

Sure enough I had a spirit. A relative actually who just popped in on an occasional visit to say "hi". I actually got him on a recording, which makes it all the more incredible.

Then later in the week, I catch a blip of light on the computer monitors. Mind you I stare at computer monitors for a good 9 or so hours a day, so something out of the ordinary, I am definitely going to see. Anyway, I kind of saw a face as a part of the light and so I grabbed the rods. Hey, what do you know, another relative!

I am getting pretty good at this!

So then I hear a ringing. Ah, pull out the rods again....

Oh, wait. You're not a family member? You're a 2 year old girl?!? You're lost? That's so sad!

This can't possibly be an easy way to live. I mean, if I responded to every little ringing in my ears, I would never get anything done. Quite literally so.

What's even harder for me is that I have to communicate through dowsing rods. Not an easy way of doing it, as it's basically 20 questions for every little piece of information.

It would be really nice if I could just bypass the whole dowsing rod thing and be able to converse on a one to one basis, but that's the problem I face with myself.

Hey, at least I know the ringing isn't just me going crazy... or is it?

Maybe the whole dowsing rod thing is just muscle reactions toward a question? I know that's not completely inconceivable.

I hear the ringing again and again, which either means someone wants to converse with me or that I really need to do something.

It's so hard that it's not so clear.

Using a minimal theremin for ghost hunting.

On 6/26/2011, the paranormal group I am with went on a ghost hunt and it gave me time to test out the response from using a minimum theremin in detecting spirit energy.

The minimum theremin is a theremin with the volume controls absent from the circuit. This means that all signals come out at the same level.

This is similar to the Mel meter with EMF radiating antenna. This is the Mel-8704REM device.

In observing the Mel-8704REM in field situations I feel certain that the range of the minimum theremin that I am using is at least twice as large of a radiating field that the mel meter. I am getting radiating ranges around and above 12 inches from the antenna.

This presented a problem in holding the device, so I hacked together a solution so the theremin is held well away from the body.

I am in the middle of testing, but I can say that the device works really well.

Instance number one was a bit difficult, as the spirits were showing a hesitation in touching the antenna of the unit. One spirit in particular said it looked like a sword. Yes, the device is a bit unusual and the antenna is a shiny silver, but it does take a lot of convincing that the antenna is harmless. Spirits that are not as timid are more likely to be friendly and tend to feel comfortable with the device.

A child was reported going near the unit, at which I did receive a small sound. However, the unit was close to my body, so I couldn't readily confirm a hit.

The second instance was a communication session with several spirits. At the point where one spirit attached to one of the other team members, I was standing in the range of 4-5 feet away from the member and I had strong readings from the unit right in the middle of the ambient space.

The unit is not too particular about what objects it will detect as the tombstones in the cemetery were triggering the unit.

In the final test of the unit for the day, I handed the unit over to the group founder/leader and the unit did receive another hit in the middle of ambient space. The hit was fairly quick which actually adds a bit of credence to the device.

What works best with the unit is that it does not move quickly through the environment. It has a tendency to pick up things over time much better than instantly grabbing energies in the area.

I am currently using a headphone amplifier to get signals from the theremin. This will eventually be output to a speaker, so the audio may be picked up on recorders.

I will post more data when it becomes available.

I don't get people

OR is humanity good or are we evil?

Growing up in a very fundamentalist view of Christianity, what I understand is that we all have this sin nature from the beginning with Adam and Eve. So Jesus comes along and says that he will be the sacrificial lamb for all of our sins and that it's all taken care of.

Or is it?

I am constantly struggling with people over the concept that we aren't bound to an old way of thinking, even though it is about 2000 years ago when it changed.

The problem is this. Why are we perceiving ourselves as evil when we are trying to go somewhere because we are good?

This is very confusing, because in order to see yourself as good you have to be evil? That means that we are evil and not good in our natural state.

What is our natural state?

I postulate this, that we are only considered as good or evil because we want for there to be opposites instead of just accepting things as they really are. It's like saying that there is an opposite to something as benign as a crayon or rocket.

It's not like there's a anti-crayon or anti-rocket, but that dichotomy seems ingrained in our psyche that we have to have it. The truth is more likely that we don't need to follow such a dichotomy.

If we are evil, then we can justify the things that tear us apart and cause us to fight against each other. That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but in our struggling to be good, we are doing just that.

There is no good or evil just as much as what we perceive as our orientation in the whole universe as up and down. Maybe we're sideways in the universe and we haven't figured that bit out yet.

We just want it to be up and down because it gives us a sense of accomplishment. It's an accomplishment that only polarizes and suppresses our ability to grow beyond our ways of thinking.

Over 1500 years after Christ did we even think that maybe earth isn't the center of the universe or is even flat for that matter.

Once we get past these primitive notions, can we generate progress. We can better ourselves and the people around us.

We can stop living a painful life in hope of a blissful one by realizing that in attempting to have one, that it places you in the opposite. That's what happens when you create a polarity, in attempting to be something you literally have to be that which you attempt to not be.

An example is that someone who wants a pain free existence lives in a place of pain. Another is that a person who wants to be rich lives a poor existence.

The only safe place to be is somewhere in the center and balanced between the two polarities. Only there can you achieve the goal you thought you were trying for and realizing that it's not a polarity, but a position of being.

I don't get people, because I know now that I don't have to get them. They are just as they are and just as I am.

This is where reality shifts, because after all, it's a matter of perception. Do we perceive a world ruled by polarized states? Do we leave these flat earth concepts behind us to embrace a non polarized state where we live not in harmony or discord, but rather to hear the single voice of a united people?

Is there even an answer to a rhetorical question?

The frustration of a bi-polar religion.

Ok, it's Christianity. I thought I would get that out of the way.

The problem is this: Religious aspects fall into one of two possible aspects. (For more information, check out the book Matrix 4 by val valerian.) The first aspect is called "Static Perception and Social Reality". The other aspect is called "Evolving Perception and Absolute Reality". Christianity sits right on top of the two. Depending on what tradition you come from, you may find that one aspect is more prevalent than the other. In pretty much most of Christianity, it's the static perception that dominates the religion.

The problem of the bi-polarity is that while some themes from the static view represent the current statements by the modern day church, the evolving view also represents some of the aspects as read in the bible.

If you research further on each aspect and think of each item, you will invariably find a biblical passage that refers to it. I think this is what frustrates me about the whole thing.

Take for example the aspect of Experience. Are we having a spiritual experience as humans or are we having a human experience as spirits. This is an argument I go back and forth even with family members, because it's a matter of perception and understanding.

First of all, if you identify with a singular existence, then it's very easy to see that you're a human having a spiritual experience. I used to be that way. However, I worked a lot of logic into the issue.

The first question is where do we come from and does God know us before we are born. Both traditions should be saying "yes", but I could see where someone would argue that God can see into the future and therefore would know. It's complex, but it also comes with the idea that you are predestined. If I consider a life that is predestined before I was born, then that would suggest that I may be known before my birth.

This is a blurring of the lines between the two, I'll admit, but it then it's that blurring that requires someone to be introspective on either side.

The logic that I came up with, is that if I am known before I exist in human form, then I must exist in thought form. If the thought form is similar to the way the spirit is perceived, then my spirit has to exist before my physical existence. So the conclusion is that it is my spirit that existed first that is having a human experience, rather than me being human receiving a spirit and then having a spiritual existence.

Now, when you place yourself into one of the two perceptions, it drastically sees the way you view pretty much everything about your beliefs.

For the static, it's a judgmental, controlling, limited isolated existence with doubt and fear as the controlling factors. For the evolving it's a perspective, free, multiple life existence with knowing and joy as the controlling factors.

The ideas of original sin, hell and free will being heaven or hell is quite static. The opposite says that emotions tell when you're headed the right direction and that it is not because of requirement, but because of wanting to live righteously. Free will is a decision between doing or not doing. And hell is an experience that's chosen rather than one where people just end up.

I had this ongoing argument about "works of the spirit". One side is to say you perform works, because you're supposed to. I was arguing, that works is the side effect of doing the right thing all the time, because you want to. At no point did we ever meet any middle ground and we never came to an agreement as one being more correct than the other.

Knowing what I do know about quantum realities and such, I know this is also true: both aspects are correct. I know what each aspect stands for and I don't disagree with any of it. I know which one allows me to feel closer to God, so I am pretty sure that it's where I need to be in my belief system. However, it's obviously not for everyone.

In my view, all aspects are legitimate which oddly enough allows an atheist to feel that God does not exist. I don't have to agree or judge anyone, to know that this is the true reality in which all of humanity exists.

I appreciate and respect this spectrum of beliefs, so I believe that this is what Jesus meant by "Love One Another".

The nature of soul

I read a lot. I read a lot of different things. Mainly I like to look at religion. In religion you have a person that believes beyond the shadow of a doubt that their belief is correct and everyone else who doesn't believe that is wrong.

I don't know about you, but I find that a bit disturbing. Why is one group correct and the other group wrong, while at the same time, the inverse is assumed to be true.

This is an strange dichotomy that is only exacerbated by what I can only attribute to religious fervor and the controlling nature of man.

As humans, we try to control our lives more and more. We domesticate horses so we can get from place to place more easily. We build cars so we can get there faster. We build roads that help our vehicles traverse the distance more easily. And then we toll roads just because we want to filter who goes on them and take that money and apply that to something else we want to control.

It's a vicious cycle. Well, religion exhibits some of those same aspects of control. I could go on and on about how we're told we have to do this and we have to do that, but it all is a system of controls.

And that really has nothing to do with the nature of the soul!

I paraphrase as C.S. Lewis once said that 'We don't have a soul. We are a soul. What we have is a body." Our true nature, all of humanity and even beyond that is a composition of a soul residing within a body.

The soul is an energy based being and radiates the energy outside of the body in an egg-like shape.

I can prove it. It takes two people. Preferably two people who are not very familiar with each other. Stand about 6 feet apart and wait a minute. Take a step forward and wait another minute. Repeat this process until you are less than a foot apart. At some point along the way, there is a discomfort. It is strong enough that you just feel too close and stay there until it's absolutely impossible to stay that close.

When two energies get close enough they begin to interact with each other. It's like playing with magnets. Sometimes they pull closer to each other and sometimes they push away from each other. That's a very rough idea of what's going on.

The soul is part of what some people call the global consciousness, but can also be part of what is called the collective unconsciousness. I guess the difference here is whether you see yourself as part of the whole of humanity or see yourself as original as a snowflake in relation to everyone else.

The dream state is usually an untapped resource in confirming that this is that case, mainly because most people do not choose or just plain can't remember their dreams. For those that have taken the effort to remember, they report stuff like visitations by deceased relatives and even traveling to exotic and impossible locations.

It only leads to the obvious question: What are souls doing and why are they here?

The book "Conversations with God" goes into really good detail about what's going on, but to put it rather simply. Souls are here to experience what they already know. They select what kind of experience they are looking for and the conditions that will assist with their experiencing. Souls experience life.

If the soul is an immortal energy that is accessing all of the possible knowledge that's ever known, then the only thing a soul would do is to break from the monotony of an existence of only knowledge or of everything accessible. The true reasoning is simply variety.

If you take a food that you just swoon over, but just don't get very often, then imagine an existence where the food is always available. That's all you eat. The novelty of the item loses its special nature for you and becomes as if it was water.

Where souls reside (call it heaven if you want) everything is available, but because of it, it's all meaningless. You want to ask god something, he's standing right there. So in simpler terms, souls are like kids at the amusement park. They want to go again.

That's where the whole reincarnation thing comes from. I'll admit that up until a couple of years ago, I didn't buy into it. It's like I want to say that everyone has the same opportunity and it's just a matter of growing up that makes one person a famous actor and another person a fireman.

But that can't be true. Singers are what they are because they can actually sing. And they do it really well! It's similar with other aspects of life. Some people are computer geniuses, while others can cook and others are pilots.

Desire, aptitude, ability and drive are all important factors that can decide between a politician and a policeman. It's kind of like setting up a character for a role playing game. He's stronger or more agile, or even more intelligent, but never exactly all maxed out. It's not really a matter of genetics!

Then again, the body is not that much different. Not everyone can play center for the NBA or be an olympic runner. It's a plain fact.

Besides, are those the aspects of life that seem the most interesting? Take your drama shows for example. They're not very interesting when it's just all happy good-times storytelling. The best drama is hardship, depression, anger, frustration, sadness, despair, torment, etc. Need I go on?

I've often said that nothing worth doing is ever easy. I think part of that has to do with a level of satisfaction that would just not be there if everything was easy.

Now that it is obvious that souls come back to experience, if you consider that some souls have been back more than others, then you must know that the experience of a soul that has been here more than other souls, that they are looking for a much different experience.

I would expect a "young" soul to choose either the hardest or easiest aspects of life. An "old" soul might be more tempered in this regard, choosing a more sublime existence, which may not be as simple in its extremes, but can possibly be a more difficult existence.

I may be completely wrong on that, but I can't possibly imagine a soul that's been around many, many times to be interested in experiencing the most basic of existences.

My subtle perceptions up to this point has been in support of such a reality. I would go into detail, but people need to look into their own lives and see these aspects for themselves.

I wouldn't expect that someone could approach this suddenly. It would only be after years upon years of looking at oddities in their own life and comparing them to the aspects and abilities that they currently have, that they could notice that something just isn't quite right.

And when you find those aspects, then at least you know where it all came from... yourself. Because that's what the nature of the soul is. It's you.

First time out as part of a ghost hunting group.

Disclaimer: If you don't buy into the idea of spirit guides, friendly spirits, past lives or psychic mediumship, you really should not read this.


Disclaimer 2: I'm also just going to talk about what I sensed and some of the events. If you want to experience the place, then you should go... that is if you can. The bar is noisy and the warm months are not going to make it any more beneficial to keep holding tours of the place. It's a pity, because it's so unusual.

Now that I've warned ya.
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So it's not an official investigation. If it were, you wouldn't be reading this. I am pretty good with understanding privacy and stuff like that, and as part of this "well-oiled machine" that is the ghost hunting group R.I.P. Midwest, I know the reasons why and can appreciate the levels they have gone to ensure privacy and quality are maintained.

This was not the case.

The group went on a little ghost hunting excursion as provided by the resident expert on the location which happened to be an Irish pub. It's a prohibition era speakeasy/pub that was a known hideout for Al Capone. It also backs up to a forest preserve which also was a Native American meeting place. In addition to all of that, it also sits along one of the leylines in North America.

So it's got 3 things already against it. Think it might be haunted?

When I entered, I had two things just hit me right off the bat. The first was something trying to get my attention. This usually has led me to believe that it's a spirit guide pointing out something. I know this because it feels like something is hanging on my left ear. At one time in my life it got so annoying, that I thought it was my hair touching my ear, so I had a buzz cut... and IT DIDN'T GO AWAY.

The second thing was I had a crazy headache. I didn't have one all day/week/month. So having it hit as I entered the place was a bit bracing. I feel that it wasn't revealing anything so I did my best to let both things pass. It did make it at times hard to concentrate, but it did not detract at all from the more profound experiences.

The whole event begins with a dinner at the pub. Typical irish food fare. I didn't think it was way too outstanding food-wise. It only makes me crave ballydoyle's (downtown downer's grove) corned beef bites. Once we ordered the food, the guy hosting the event, Ed Shanahan, gave us palm readings.

I know a bit about palm reading, Life line, heart line, past and present. He was telling me a lot of stuff that I already know. I think I know myself pretty good. There were two things that surprised me. First is that I don't have a lot of stress. I'm either not handling any stress well, or I am handling it better than most, because I've been pretty stressed. The other thing was that I am what is called an "old soul". I would explain why it's surprising, but I guess I am not all that surprised, and the explanation doesn't benefit this conversation.

We finally finished and went on a tour of the place. We started in the basement. Now I could say that not a lot happened here, but I had this pulling of my pant leg as though it was caught on something. In hindsight, I probably should have mentioned something.

We saw the crawlspace under the pub which was eerie and creepy as it got. I know when I approached the opening that I was informed mentally to "get back". We got some stories and stuff as we progressed in the basement area, and we got to a spot where Ed was talking about these underground tunnels and such, an I am just standing on this spot. Just standing there. As I stepped away, I was informed that it's an unusual spot where I was standing and it is possible that someone may have been buried there.

We then went up to the 2nd floor. While going up the stairs in the place it really is unnerving. I felt like I was going to fall down as I was going up. Once inside we go room by room through the floor (well almost. The owner lives there, and a room or two is considered "off limits").

The first room we were shown had a medical feel to it, and the closet therein had a eerie feel to it. I got another "back off" message in there. Apparently it was where abortions occurred. We saw a couple of other rooms, one of which was supposed to contain a boy. I went in there and looked around and just as I was leaving, I felt like I should stop. "A" (name withheld just because I can) asked me what I was sensing in the room. Obviously I was sensing something. I just couldn't isolate it. I was getting two people, no 3, no 2, no 3, no 2, no 3 and so on and so forth. I really couldn't give an answer.

The story in that room is that there are two ghosts there. One is a mother, and the other one is a little boy. A 3rd ghost which occasionally shows up is a little girl that haunts a location down the road. Hmmm.

We progressed further down the floor, room by room until we got to the "meeting room". Opposite one side of the room is a door that leads to the stairwell. When he opened the door it was like a burst of energy ran through the room. The energy coming from the area was off. When looking at the stairs we could see that they aren't exactly the most level. You could really feel that in taking a couple of steps.

In that same room (I am skipping a lot of stuff because it's just back and forth walking) one of the other group members said that she was talking to a female spirit. I held out my dowsing rods and tried to hold a conversation as well.

I ended up talking to that ghost more than once. The second time, I did offer some of my energy and held out my hands in the hope that I would feel something. This turned out to be much more than I expected.

We then went up to the third floor/attic. A lot of weird energy up there as well as some rickety boards. I was on the far side of the room at one point absolutely certain there was something there. I was using the dowsing rods and from behind me comes A. A's in a full blown trance channel and walking like an old man.

A's looking out the window and walking around and then gets face to face with someone else from the group. Some questions were asked and some details were given. After that she went over to another member of the group who happened to be pregnant and basically sized up her head.

And then A stared right at me. I wasn't sure what was going on because it's the first time I had ever seen it. I couldn't be sure if I should run, confront or just stand there and pee my pants. So I just stood there... and stared back. The energy of the unexpected moment crawled up my legs and into my back and had I known what that energy was, the whole thing might have ended a lot more differently than it did.

A ended up coming out of the trance right in front of me, right near some stacked mattresses. Almost completely crumbled on the floor but was helped by some of the members who knew what was going on.

Soon after that we had a chance to explore on our own, and so I had a chance to try to see if a ghost would move some stuff. So, we had some toy letter blocks on us and so we put them on the floor in hopes that the ghost boy would play with them.

It never did.

It was then time for the seance. Honestly I wasn't really looking to be a part of the seance. I didn't really have a need to communicate with anyone who has passed. So I put the name of my grandpa and just let it go at that. I figured I wasn't that close to him, so I probably wouldn't get picked.

I was wrong, I got picked 3rd. That's a number that shows up a lot in my life.

So one by one people came up as the names got picked. I felt sad for my wife as I hoped that she would have communicated with her loved ones, as they meant more to her than mine did to me. She ended up not being included in the group, but was there on the sidelines to watch.

So the seance begins. Ed is bringing in the spirits from the place and allowed A to just say whatever came forward. Then I felt something. It felt like cobwebs on my face and playing with my facial hair. It was almost static like in sensation. A couple of people said they saw a woman standing behind me. A was going on about how the gentleman was so kind to her, and then a rush started to flow into me.

It's like every fiber inside of me tingled in a euphoric manner. It was a whole new experience and I had it going on full blast! Eventually the sensation subsided, but I don't know what that was. Did I get a hug from a ghost? Or did I get very close to channeling this ghost? I'm going to have to go to the recorder later to see.

If anything blew my mind before that point, it was nothing compared to how blown my mind is now!

There were some other little things that came through in the seance, but nothing on that scale. Also A asked who is "...". That was my grandma. Grandpa was having her come through instead. That was confirmation to me that they were there.

There was some more stuff with tingling around the legs, but someone said that there was a cat. (not really a cat, but probably a ghost one.) It was on my lap and around my legs.

So the seance ended. Most there did experience some connection, but didn't necessarily experience anything outstanding. I feel for them. I want them to be the ones who had the overwhelming experience.

Note: in talking with others, they were not impressed at the way it played out. I don't personally choose to remember the exact details, mainly because I was in a meditative state (my own little world) for most of the seance anyway. Good seance or bad one, I have no frame of reference to go by yet.

We then got a break and got a little caffeine break before going outside into the woods.

After what had happened in the seance, you'll excuse me if I say that it was very much a non-event after that.

I am very appreciative of what I am given. I want to thank Ed and his group for what they did. I want to thank my new "family"/teammates who were there to share in my experience. I want to thank the spirits who were there and interacted with me. And finally I have to thank my wife for coming with me. I know this isn't near her interests, but I was happy to have her with me.

Ghost Ambassador, that would be me.

Just recently I did what some people would seem unthinkable. I joined a ghost hunting group.

The group is R.I.P. Midwest and is the group based out of the same town I live in... Bolingbrook.

The group is just one of the many, many groups in the Chicagoland area, but this one is quite different. First of all, it's led by a medium/shaman. Secondly, the team is geared to resolution in just as much regard as it is to investigating.

The part that appealed to me most about the group has to be the dedication to resolution. I find that most teams have a "deal with it" approach to haunting. I find that even mentioning it, seems rather callous. I may be misunderstanding something or even misunderstood myself, but people aren't calling ghost hunting groups because they have a cold spot in their house. If anything they are more likely to be at their last desperate act when they call a ghost hunting group.

So I think it is important at this point to give my perspective on why I joined a group. To me it is not as much proof that ghosts exists. I've been to haunted spots. While I haven't seen a full body or saw something move unexpectedly or even see a shadow, I do sense something...

Now the "something" is what is driving me. I can't explain how it feels, because there is NO frame of reference. I could tell you what tingling on the face is like, because I've been there. I know what chills feel like. I even know what a full blown fever feels like.

I know that I don't have a clue as to why I feel what I do when I do feel it. I've had a sensation that was like half of your head just goes tingly drunk suddenly. It first happened when I was in college, studying the bible. I may have mentioned it before. Anyway, it's the driver of all of it.

If anyone knows what that was in my dorm room, then by all means let me know! I want to define what that was, whether that be a ghost, angel or whatever.

The only way I can get an answer is just to keep trying to find it again and again and isolate the source of the phenomena.

Now, I have taken to heart some of my training over the years in customer service and my Reiki training to approach the whole thing with a sense of respect and gentleness. This makes me want to say that I am not really interested in being a ghost hunter, but rather a ghost ambassador. I want to resemble the better part of humanity when it comes to ghosts.

I'll let you know how that turns out.

I do think that the process of life that led me to this spot has been rather pointed. I know many will talk about how we have free will, but when I look at it, I sense that either I do it and move forward, or I don't. So, it frustrates me.

I am however at a reserve about the whole medium thing. Most of it is from my upbringing, but some of it is in dealing with a somewhat unseen world.

I do say "unseen" because we have learned to turn our eyes away from things we don't want to see or don't care to see. That doesn't mean that such things do not exist.

The reason I hold that reserve is the same reason I have the driving force I do. The reason is that I can't easily explain it. It gnaws at all of the logical skills and scientific approaches I have learned and my compulsion to solve things (as being a guy, I guess that's expected) and makes me want to know why, how and what just to name a few.

I expect the ride that I have undertaken will be a wild one. I expect that I will learn more than I have anticipated. I also expect to learn mostly about myself.

My Psychic Breakthroughs?

For awhile I have been trying to decipher and filter the random messages and thoughts in my head. I'm hoping that I can finally reach a communication level within myself so I can have a legitimate conversation and figure out what's my deal. Why I am where I am, and maybe get some sense of direction. I feel like life runs in many different directions and I am just not able to decide which way to go.

Well, that's not really it, but if I could form better words for what I mean, I would do that.

Shut up.

Anyway, the result I found as a part of my journey, was not that much better.

I'll explain. (the names are completely omitted)

I was reading some posts on facebook this morning and came across one where someone had to run to the emergency room for reasons I am not altogether sure of. In the instant I finished reading about it, and image flashed into my vision. I was a treasure chest from the zuma blitz game.

It was at that point I understood that it was a message and the message was precise. I receive messages in metaphor. The problem the person was having was in their "chest"!

So I had to confirm whether this was true. So I went back through previous posts and sure enough, there was a surgery a couple of weeks ago in the chest area.

I had toyed with the idea of remotely viewing people's chakra's as a way of answering the question "what's wrong with them!" It's weird, because I imagine some animal coming in and out of these colored pools along the body (not sure if it's a bird or a dolphin). If there's some kind of chakra blockage, the animal can't go into the pool (it's more like a trampoline), if the chakra's too wide it looks more like an ocean that a little circular pool.

This metaphorical image was something else entirely. First off, it was unsolicited. Mind you, the curious mind wanted to know, but I was okay if I didn't. Secondly, I was able to identify what it was. A lot of the mucky gunk in my head is random lights and odd patterns. None of which seem to have a specific purpose as far as I can tell.

I have been able to note at least 3 colors that pop up occasionally. (sometimes in the dark of night) The first one is blue. Blue seems to be some kind of greeting.
The second one appears to be silver. This one actually lays in a direction I need to go or a specific pointing out of something significant. The 3rd is a kind of orange or red. This one seems to be a congratulatory message. The orange doesn't happen much.

I've been very careful in looking at such items with a heaping load of "not sure". Maybe I did see the random color or maybe it's just a after-image. In trying to isolate and see bio-energy/halos in others, I find that many times I do get an after image instead of the aura. The way you tell there, is that you gotta move your head or have them move. An after image will stay in place, a true aura will stay with the object.

On a separate note, I found that the reiki attunement process heightens the ability to see auras, but in the same manner it's easier to see after images as well.

Anyway, it's something I have yet to meditate further upon.

What's up with the weird content here.

Just go with it. That's all I can do. I can't make sense of anything, so it's about as unfiltered as I can possibly get.

A ghost in the house you say?

Shouldn't be happening. Don't know why it would. Nobody has died in the house. I think a dog died there, but that shouldn't have produced what I experienced.

So the story is that I am sitting in my office on a really busy day. The wife just called to say that she's leaving her sister's house and is just stopping by for a couple of minutes before going on to work. She's bringing food, so I am kind of expecting to hear when she arrives.

So I hear what I thought was the door closing and a voice downstairs. Mind you it was not very loud, but my door was open. I can pretty much hear what's going on in the house.

Anyway, a couple of minutes go by and the dogs upstairs with me aren't doing a thing. They're just laying in the bedroom sleeping.

As I got up to see who is/was downstairs the dogs perk up and wonder what I'm doing. Obviously they didn't hear anything.

So they follow me down the stairs to which I find nothing. There's nobody here. The wife's not home yet and it's just quiet as can be. So being the nice dog owner I am, I let the dogs out.

I go into the living room and when I do, I smell this strong flower smell. Kind of like someone sprayed some air freshener or just cut some flowers. It was a bit overwhelming. Anyway, I don't know my flowers, but I try to figure out where that smell is coming from.

It wasn't any of the plants. It sure wasn't the fabric softener solution we use on the microfiber couches to reduce static. It wasn't even the candles. The smell continued around the corner into the dining room and that was it. Very localized.

I looked at the thermostat as that is right there, and it was just as I left it.

I let one of the dogs back in and go back to work for a bit.

The other dog finally barks to come in much later and when I go down to let him in, I see that my wife finally has arrived.

And the smell is gone. No trace or similar odor to be found.

I tell my wife about it and we wonder what that is all about.

If there is a ghost in the house then we don't know why it's there. I would highly doubt there is, but I will be sure to keep my eyes and ears open.

What would really be a mind scramble is that it's the same as the female voice that speaks to me during the middle of the night in my head. I don't know where that is coming from either... and I wear earplugs to bed!

Do still born babies have souls?

I don't know for sure, but I have been posting (mainly for my sanity) the various occurrences that have happened during my dreams or whatever.

Lately, I have been hearing voices that aren't my own. I have tasked my ego voice to monitor and report when a voice in my head isn't really mine.

It's an interesting aspect, because the ego is generally that voice in your head to begin with. It takes credit for a lot of stuff and fluffs you up or tears you down.

Echardt Tolle made an entire series of books where he details an existence without the ego. That only works if you're able to kill your ego/inner voice.

Well, I made a deal with my ego in that it reports when something doesn't belong to it. It works with the ego rather than against it. Somewhere the ego is responsible for prodding me to place these items on the blog.

Anyway, I had a dream that was going really well, then I had a voice start talking saying stuff about the dream. The ego alerted me to the voice, to which I mentally asked "who are you?". The reply was: "I am your sister".

I wasn't mentally acute at the time, so I was like "what's your name?". I couldn't remember who from what, so I was surprised when I was given the image of a store that has the same name as my still-born sister!

The voice is one that wasn't something I could come up with. It was a very smooth mid-range female voice. My voice is low or nasally. Definitely not mine. When I am sleeping I am usually wearing earplugs to assist my sleep. This doesn't stop any voices like that as they enter my head whether I want them to or not.

The way I compare to hearing a voice like that is to imagine a tv or radio is on in the same room and occasionally some words are spoken. In my awake state, this doesn't happen much, if at all. It's more of high pitched ringing when I am alert.

The whole incident brings up a series of impossible to answer questions. Like, how do you confirm that you're contacted by a deceased relative you've never met, OR do still-born babies have souls?

I don't expect most people to have an answer. The fundamentalist view would be to say that it's in my head and it wasn't real, or that I am going mental, or even that it's some kind of "demon" talking to me.

My experience would suggest none of those are possible. If it's just in my head, why does it wake me? If I was going mental, why pose that as a possibility. Insanity is like true evil, it never really considers itself as such. Then there's the idea of demons, which if you really study your demonology, you know that there's certain characteristics about demons that allow you to tell when you're dealing with one or not.

Anyway, I am not completely insane. Until I figure it all out, I am just observing and reporting, which is what I have asked my ego to do as well.