Shadows over Indianola Iowa

Visiting family in Indianola for the holidays, I did not sleep well both nights I was there.

The first night I woke up to what I perceived was a large shadowy figure looking over me. Perhaps it was just watching, perhaps it was praying.

I was just waking, so I don't know for sure if it was really there or not. In any event, if I am waken up suddenly, it's usually for something affecting me externally. By nature I don't wake up suddenly.

The second night I was waken by a dream. I perceive this was a direct attack by the shadow from the previous night. There was no facial forms that I could tell, but it happens so quickly, that I could get a bearing first. If I did, then I could have responded and dealt with whatever it was.

The dream was that I was working with bruce wayne. This was DEFINITELY just a dream, however, I found myself in the living room of my parents house (where I was staying) when I heard knocking on the front door. Someone opened the door and bursting through the door was the shadow. It shot directly toward me and stated "what are you doing here!"

I perceive this as a psychic attack due to the fact that I woke up immediately.

I don't think this was a being that resided in my parents house. On the other hand, there's a lot of circumstantial evidence that would suggest there is a dark presence that exists over the whole town.

If there is such a presence and that it would want to maintain its foothold over a town like Indianola, then it would confront and try to remove anyone who would be capable of removing the presence. It's possible I could do it, but I would have to be lucky more than anything.

I consider myself only to be slightly psychic. That is that I have a fairly good intuitive sense, I sometimes know things before they happen, and I have what some people consider as a rudimentary clairaudient skill. (i.e. I have an intelligent ringing in my ears.)

I would say that I am unrefined in any mental skill. My life has dwelt on the logic and scientific. To advance any mental skill would be to toss aside logic in favor of a more esoteric view. Unfortunately a logical approach is all I am capable of at this time.

I know there are many stories that come from the town, but my understanding is that someone opened a portal to the spirit world on the south side of town and never closed it. Such a portal would have to be open for a very long time to affect the town in the manner that it currently does. The town is much too small for the pure quantity of coincidences that suggest an evil presence. One could blame the lack of response by the churches in the area, but there are so many, one begins to wonder.

Indianola was once known as the "holy city" because of it's stance at one time where alcohol was not allowed where everywhere else did allow it. If the presence is one of a truly evil nature, this reputation only encourages such behavior.

Indianola is not without its share of ghosts and ghost stories. The most famous is the ghost in one of the buildings on simpson college's campus.

Another story is that a ghost hunting group did an investigation and one of the investigators had a heart attack.

Is it for real? I am pretty sure that it is.

Pray for Indianola. It needs it.

You're professionals! Fix it!!!

Just lashing out for a second. Ghost Lab really irritates me at times. Maybe it's how it is edited so that brad is always provoking with a strong voice, or maybe it's their use of tech.

Don't get me started about how ridiculous the video display is just flaunting the fact that they have too much money. What really burns me is the "head cam".

The head camera is a small lipstick camera that is infrared enabled and fits on the ear. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but with any piece of technology it is how you use it and that you know how to set it up.

OMG! They do not know how to set that camera up for brad's head. Does that guy always stare at the ceiling? Probably not. If anything he looks down his nose with his head slightly back. That means that the camera needs to come DOWN.

Every time you see that fricking camera shot, it's ALWAYS showing the ceiling.

You want to be on TV and not be considered a hack, then FIX IT NOW!!!

I do have a little issue with the use of infrared cameras. Actually, I don't get it. The only reason why you'd need to use infrared is to see the world around you when it's all completely dark. In some cases you can actually see a spirit, but if you see the results of other technology, then you'd know that infrared is about as useful as a regular camera. When you get into full spectrum, ultraviolet or even thermal, you run a better chance of catching something.

Maybe I am playing percentages, but usually the best evidence is not from an IR camera.

I suppose that if you're on TV then you want to show your face, but about half of the ghost hunters on tv aren't people that I want to know about.

Now I've probably said this a million times, but what's the point of ghost hunting if after all is said and done that all you got is "yes, you got ghosts" or "no, we didn't find your ghosts". What's the point? What's the goal? What comes next?

Do creepy people become ghosts?

I was thinking about this.

Take your pedophile or peeping tom or sexual pervert. These are an example of the scum of life. Now imagine that they die and instead of going to heaven or hell that they just get stuck. Basically that they are a ghost.

So they're running around doing what they did before without having anyone stop them or notice that they're doing really sick stuff?

Supposedly ghosts watch you all the time. They watch what you're doing when you're seemingly all alone.

Does anyone else find this a little more than just creepy?

What about the uncle or grandparent that was a closet perv? Is that now available to them without a check and balance in the "in-between"?

Supposedly loved ones want to visit us, but in the world we currently live in, there are expectations and rules which we live by, because there's a taboo or line that we just don't cross.

Apparently this is not the case in the spirit world. They visit at all times, hang around for very long periods, and don't let us know that they are there.

Well, that's assuming that we're unable to tell when a spirit is near. I am not altogether convinced that we're not able to detect spirits. That goes back to what I was saying about the "filter".

Lifeless Chicago

Lifeless Chicago is the name of a twitter book I am writing.

I am just getting started in the real time twitter adventure/horror. I am partially inspired by the AMC show "The Walking Dead", but also I am wanting to put a new spin on the traditional interpretations of the bible. The book of matthew has one of my favorite moments in the time just after jesus dies. The dead rise up out of their graves and go into the town.

Are the dead the zombie types? Are they a sign of something to come? Well, you'll just have to follow and find out!

The filter still persists

There is a filter in a brain. Most everyone has it. There are some people that do not.

The veil is definitely in the brain. It's the veil that separates what is easily seen and what isn't seen. It's also in regards to pattern recognition.

When it comes to pattern recognition, you see something, recognize it and your brain just throws it out as being already seen. If you have ever said "that person looks like...", then you're doing pattern recognition.

Autism has a problem with the filter when it comes to stuff like recognition and other things. It's said that when it comes to the puzzle where two pictures look exactly alike and that there are subtle differences, most people find it a bit of a challenge. The autistic person will have those difference come immediately out and see those items instantly.

So when you see these autistic people (and not being an expert on autism, I will defer if this is incorrect) and they are unable to function, there must be some level of the filter that isn't working for them. To them there is no filter. That means every noise comes across as being equally important. Meaning the more sources the noise, the more confusion exists.

Everyone that's normal wouldn't see that as a problem. They filter out things and can concentrate only on one source.

I have some kind of auditory processing problem myself, so in crowded rooms, it sounds like just a bunch of discordant noise. I have trouble isolating a voice due to the overwhelming noise. In a way, I have a bit of a problem with filtering those things out. I know how it feels.

Now, take it to the other end. There's a story where a native was looking at columbus' ships and couldn't see them. Eventually, he noticed the way the waves hit something in the water and saw the ripples emanating from the location. Eventually deduced that there was something there in the water.

Only after then did the native see the ships.

In that case the filter threw that information out even though it was completely new and unknown.

Take natural psychic mediums as a contrast. Here are people who can see the unknown as if it's completely known. So what's going on with their filter? Is it like the autistic who can't filter at all? Or is it a selected filter?

It is like my auditory processing? I don't easily recognize visual differences.

There's a point that I am leading to and it's in regard to an open mind. The older you are the more likely you are to be more and more rigid in your mental processing. So when it comes to being like the native and seeing something new, your filter gets in the way.

And as you try harder and harder to see the truth of what's really there...
The filter still persists.

This is the only time I am going to say it...

We need better christians.

We need christians that instead of rejecting others for their beliefs or "ways of life" embraces them and welcomes them into a relationship with god.

As we come in the presence of god with the innocence of a child, we should also come to one other with no conditions.

We learn there is no reason to harbor ill will against one another as that only festers and burns within us and just makes us bitter.

We must prove that because of our belief that WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT! And we do so by being open, welcoming and comforting.

To do otherwise is to miss the point.

Ghost Hunting With RIP Midwest

I finally went to check out ghost hunting "the professional way". Last Friday I joined the group RIP Midwest http://www.ripmidwest.com in a ghost investigation.

I use quotes for professionalism in the ghost hunting field, because for as many groups there are out there, you have just as many different approaches to the content.

A perusal of the various shows on television are a testament to that, regardless of the fact that they are filtered for tv viewing. How else can you turn countless hours of work and case review into a 30 or 60 minute show?

I digress.

The case that is (and I am aware the investigation is still ongoing) involves a local cemetery. This case is rather unusual for a number of reasons. First of all, it's not usual to have a cemetery considered haunted. Yes, it is the final resting spot for many people, but ghosts usually don't hang around their bodies. Instead they hang around the places where they knew best and the people that they loved.

Secondly, it involves a factor considered in many hauntings... water. The location of a huge supply of water looms over the cemetery. This is possibly a secondary or even tertiary reason for the haunting.

Now if I understood what was being said (meaning, I tend to not hear things... correctly... at times) then the houses that surround this cemetery are also experiencing paranormal activity. I guess if your house was backed up to a cemetery, you'd expect that, but if cemeteries aren't supposed to be haunted, then why are the houses surrounding the area haunted?

There's a lot going on here. We could go into the topographical nature of the cemetery or the fact that the sub ground contents are limestone, but I think you get the picture.

Now before I begin to detail my experience, I do have to point out that in all of the paranormal places I have been that I have felt that there is something out of place. Maybe it's the presence of spirit, or maybe it's something to do with the nature of the area. Lemp Mansion and Bachelor's Grove are the sites I've been to and there's something that sets off something in my head really fierce.

Not the case with this location. I felt nothing.

So me and 11 other guests get out of the vehicles and get a quick crash course in the various implements and equipment to be used. I already had my flashlight, an audio recorder and a digital camera. In addition to that, I got to use the IR laser sighted temperature gun. A nice piece of equipment, but it didn't produce any results. Believe me, I tried.

Another thing I got was a set of dowsing rods. I guess it's because I got one, because when RIP's head investigator Cindi Muntz asked who should get them, they pointed right to me.

I am no expert on dowsing rods, but I actually think the ones I made are just a little bit better than the ones I borrowed. I probably need to place something on the end of my rods so I don't end up poking someone in the eyes, but for the most part, mine are more responsive.

Some of the other devices were a mel meter (measures temperature and electro magnetism aka EM) a simple EM meter, a EM meter with readout, and a pendulum.

I should note that the pendulum was responding in ways that one would usually respond to me. Up and back is "yes", side to side is "no"... etc.

So after handing out the various pieces of equipment, we split into two groups. Half of the group went with Cindi while the other half were led by her husband Brian. I was in Brian's group.

So since the two dowsing rods sets were in different groups, we learned right from the start that the first thing they do in an investigation is to find out via the rods whether a spirit is present, and where they are located. The rods will point out the direction and off we begin a trek. Eventually it led us to a grave site where we asked if this is who we are communicating with and we can pretty much ask any yes/no question. Once we determined the location of the spirit, then we took a series of photographs at the direction the rods pointed.

I should point out that only after the fact did I realize the setting on the camera was set to the lowest it would go, thereby making all photographic evidence (if I found any) ineligible for review.

We spent a bit more time there at that location before rejoining the rest of the group. (actually it's because Brian had to leave)

So at that point people just started breaking off and investigating on their own. It was a little haphazard, until there was a blinking light going off near one group. Basically they had found a spirit and he was quite active.

So everyone slowly began to gather at that location. The dowsing rods were going nuts, the EM box was going off and there was something unusual going on at that spot.

We invited the "spirit" to follow us... which it did.

We then did something that I thought was a "never do ever!" That was to use a ouija board. I guess it was okay, because it was a spirit board, similar to ouija, but not really. There's a difference. Built from natural materials and undergoing many forms of blessing in each stage of its construction, it's supposed to be a preferred way of spirit communication.

The planchette wasn't the normal one you would expect. To me it looked like an upside down pyrex dish with 3 little foam cushions on it to help it slide.

So we did spirit board communication. It wanted a stronger male presence, so some of the girls had to be switched out for guys.

Once it moved, it moved as if it was a glass hydroplaning on water. A smooth effortless motion made possible only through the slightest touch of the... you know. I have no idea what it's called, if it's not really a planchette.

About halfway through the first session (as we switched groups), my mind all of a sudden drifted and I wasn't really there. A quick wake-up and I was back in the game.

If you've ever studied channeling, you know that in order for a channel to take effect, the channeller must secede consciousness to another. This is usually assisted by means of a support group. A simple form of channeling is called automatic writing. It's a process of just scribbling on a piece of paper with only the lightest amount of touch to the pen in the hand. Occasionally a word will form in the scribbles.

Was I about to channel the spirit from the board? Maybe I was just a little tired. I don't really know.

So after switching groups, I got the pendulum and we watched as the 2nd group had their turn. Nothing too out of the predicable occurred, but my mind kept drifting and at one point I was imagining music.

Not just any music mind you, but unique pieces of music with key structures and chords that I am not familiar with via my own abilities or music I've heard.

After the spirit board was completed we did something called an EVP sweep. Basically, each one of us asked one question and then the recorder having recognition technology, would stop recording once there wasn't anything else being said. My question was to the male spirit that followed us. I asked him what color his eyes were.

The answer was... "red".

The creepy factor just went up 100%.

There were some other good questions, but nothing like my question.

We then concluded the night and packed up and left.

In all, it was a rather unique experience. I did learn enough on how to ask questions an how to get a response. Maybe now I don't have to resort to chance when dealing with a haunted location?

A lingering and nagging question is whether I want to do this again or not.

In some regards I do want to. In other regards, I don't know. It's as if I am still waiting for some deciding factor.

Until then, I will try to nurse my spine back to health. I must have blown a gasket or pulled a muscle, because the motion of standing is possibly the most painful thing I can do. A couple more weeks of this and I'll probably need to see a doctor about it.

I should have written a book by now.

I am reading a series of "books" called 'The Law of One'. In it, these people ask questions of a higher density being known as RA.

Yes, the Egyptian reference is correct.

Confusing as the discussions are, RA makes some statements that I find are not unique to me. I have come up with the same conclusions on my own as far back as 1989.

I might have to compile them into a book, as what RA says about certain things is said at a much more higher level than most people could understand.

My whole understanding about god and reality is based on a simple mathematical equation. If you apply what is understood about the math, then a lot of stuff starts making a lot more sense.

I do like some of the stuff that RA talks about. That being that there are "distortions" to the law of one. Another being how communion is metaphysical magic.

I've picked up bits and pieces over the years that really augment and support the understandings of the esoteric/metaphysical universe and as one learns about the nature of an infinite creator, they learn a little bit about themselves.

I plan on building a website just to host the book.

When RA closes a session he always says the following: "I(we) leave you in the light and love of the one infinite Creator. Go forth, therefore, rejoicing in the power and the peace of the One Glorious infinite Creator. Adonai."

X-Files, Star Trek Online, Comic Books and an Intuitive flash.

I was playing Star Trek Online last night and I had a strange thought about the x-files comic book. Not the current one called "x-files:30 days of night" which I am obviously waiting for the trade paperback, but instead the original comic book series released by topps. Yeah, the card company topps. During the 90s comic craze topps briefly got into the comic book business. One of the books: X-files.

So today I was thinking about going to the comic shop. I like hunting through their 50 cent bins, and to my surprise the missing issues of the x-files book were in the bins. I mean, it was almost an entire run of the series, missing just a couple or so issues. So obviously I picked them up. I was rather strange to see those books there like that, but I am oh so pleased and thankful that they were.

In retrospect, I wonder if the thought I had about the comic not just the night before, was a premonition or something intuitive about what would transpire today? I don't really care too much about it. I am somewhat tickled that it did happen.

BONELAC

It was a rather disturbing dream. In it, I watched the moon spin in circles in the sky. Sometimes it spun in almost a circle and other times it spun like it was making a heart shape in the sky.

The sky was dark and it was erratic in it's movements. It's was as if it was just sitting there and suddenly it moved.

A term was spoken as if I was watching it on the weather channel. "It's called a bonelac (bone-a-lack) and is what happens when the moon makes patterns in the sky."

I was with family and everyone freaked every time the moon moved. It's enough to give someone a heart attack, because it is so shocking.

After that I had a vision of south america being mostly covered in ice. Pretty much a circle from the tip of argentina through most of brazil.

It was at this point, I noted that I was dreaming, and usually when I have a strange dream, I try to look for a face looking back at me. When I did, I thought it looked like a tiger but the more I looked the more alien the face became. I asked for a name and I got the name cyrus, but that is possibly wrong.

I woke up at 5 and had to immediately write this one down. It may be important.

I did a web search and found no use of the word "bonelac". If you know of such a word, please send me an e-mail.

Ed: on further search, bonelac is possibly latin and combines the words bona and lacuna. If the words are combined, the result roughly translates to "beautiful circle".

A dream brought by a well known demon... and lady gaga too?!?

So I am having this dream and it's quite unusual. Towards the end of it, this guy takes another guy throws him down on the ground and proceeds to chop off his hand before grabbing a sledge hammer and swinging it over his head into the guy's back side.

Yeah, it's an extreme visual and quite graphic. Which only led me to believe that it wasn't me. I think I was slightly put off by it, and it was in my head.

To me, that is usually what signals me either out of the dream state or into a lucid dreaming state.

Anyway, when I encounter thoughts like this, the current thing I do is in my head say "Hello! Who is there?". If something is present, I either get a response or a blue circle in my vision.

Well, I got both. I got the circle first and then I got a name. It's a fairly common name, 3 syllables, starts with "B" and ends in "met".

I asked "show yourself", and to my surprise in my mind's eye, I saw the image of it. If you can figure out the name you'll more than likely find a picture of it. Anyway, the image I got had the creature in browns and reds and was kind of a profile view with its right leg leading toward me.

The conversation continued briefly as I said in my mind "You're not supposed to be here."

To which it's reply was "I know."

I assume at that point he left.

I was doing a little research about the dream vision and the creature when I came upon a story about pop artist Lady Gaga. Apparently she had a similar dream encounter where someone had their hand(s?) cut off. Her dream involved a creature by the same name.

Crazily enough, the dream is also a symbol of something related to the "illuminati".

I use quotes for the supposed cultish group, because I think it's a way for someone to feel like they are bigger or better than they really are.

The conspiracy wonks out there attribute the group to mind control tactics, which only leads me to the opinion that whoever it is, can only be of the lowest quality human. Otherwise why would you need to puff yourself up in that way.

Do I think there's anything to this? It doesn't matter. It's purely just coincidence. By that, I do mean it's coinciding by concept with something similar.

I would like to think there was some greater meaning to having such a dream or visitation, but I am not that deluded. Showing up in my dreams and twisting them to a different perspective is a good way to piss me off. I don't care if it's some kind of friendly or invited "guest", I don't appreciate being manipulated or toyed with.

Maybe this will serve as warning.

Vibram Five Fingers - Snugness

I finally got a pair of vibram sprint model shoes (in black). At first I thought they were the knock off, but I am fairly sure I got legit versions of the shoe.

Anyway, I thought they were knockoff because they were really tight in the toes! Yeah, it turns out that tight fit on the toes is pretty much standard.

Here's the thing. The shoe stretches after wearing it for a long (and I really mean long) while. The shoe needs to have a tight fit in order to stay properly on the foot. The shoe is basically a coating for the bottom of your foot, so it's basically a think skin layer with fabric support.

Anyway, I have learned some things about the tightness and fit of the shoe.

First is that you are not ready for how tight these shoes are when new out of the box. I mean it's really freaking tight. You might be able to wear them for an hour and that's about it. The next day it'll be two hours and you're going to have sore toes. Bear with them for a couple more days at this rate.

After the first week, I ended up wearing them outside in the rain. This caused them to loosen up a lot, so as they dried, I used that opportunity to stretch the toe pockets a bit more.

Even weeks later the shoe is quite snug, but it's not really tight. I've worn them all day.

I think the only problem I have now with the shoes is that the sprints look like I am wearing mary jane style shoes.

Yeah, forget the part where I have shoes with toes.

My older pair, are now too big. Seriously, the shoe is now loose on my feet. They are comfortable for just lounging in or doing some simple housework, but they're probably past the point where I can go for walks in them.

Knowing this, I have really relied on my newer sprints. I wear them almost all the time now and are my shoe of choice when I am going to be walking or whatever.

Lemp Mansion - The Third Face.

So I was looking again at the picture I analyzed at Lemp Mansion.



I think that's when I saw what my brother was talking about. He said he saw a 3rd face. Today I found the 3rd face!



It looks to me to be someone with long dark hair so that's what I outlined on the marked up graphic.



Anyway, take it for what you will. Here is the original post.

Also I apologize for my sloppy art skills. I don't really have any.

Going Barefoot.

I've been trying out something different lately. I've gone almost 4 weeks without wearing proper shoes. Translation, I'm barefoot.

I've had help though. I've supplemented my barefootedness with water socks, driving moccasins and of course "fivefingers" shoes.

There are moments where I have to wear a proper shoe. But they have been few and far between. The most prominent is of course bike riding. I am trying to ride the bike every day and try to get a better handle on being active.

It's really hard tho. I kind of injured my back during my training workouts. It's hampered my ability to be active as I would rather not work out because of the pain.

But back to being barefoot. I'm really enjoying it. The fivefingers shoes I found were a knockoff brand of the original vibram brand. Somewhat similar but yet somewhat cheapened by the fact they are knockoffs.

I'm not really getting into the knockoffs, but it make me want to say to the vibram company that when it becomes so hard for a consumer to buy a legitimate product that the suppliers can't even keep legit products in stock, this leave the consumer to seek outside means in order to obtain said product.

Honestly, I'd love to have a pair of actual vibram fivefingers, if they were accessible. The only way currently is to HOPE that a local store has a pair in exactly your size, or that the website actually has a pair.

Heaven forbid that you actually have to spend extra tho. $75 is a bit much for the basic pair... I'll get to that in a second.

My feet are on the smaller end of their line. I wear a size nine shoe, but I have a foot that is under 10 inches in length. This means I literally am at the bottom end of the mens shoe line.

I suppose I could try to go to the womens shoes, but they're slightly narrower. And by slightly, I exaggerate that they aren't slight.

The other part that gets me is that if these shoes were really set to the european scale then a size 39 would be the same for men as for women... they aren't even close.

Somehow they made their own sizing numbers. This makes no sense, because some sellers won't give you where their numbers come from. In the knockoffs, I wear a size 42/41, wheras I would wear a 40 in vibram's actual line.

It's a whole size difference which when it comes to fivefingers, this is extremely important.

Why do you say? Because if the shoe isn't exactly right on with the foot you'll get a blister because its too lose.

I got a couple of blisters. They went away quickly of course, but I have compensated somewhat in adjusting the shoe straps.

That being said, I totally love the fivefinger shoe. It's like placing a glove on your feet and then still going around barefoot. You really feel the grass go between your toes. You feel the textures of the ground. You feel every crack and every little impurity. However you don't feel the sharpness of the rock, or the sting of the thistles. All the positives without all of the negatives!

I would gladly pay full price for a legitimate vibram... if they were readily available. They just aren't.

You need to have it accessible to try them on... learn what the correct size is and what fits best. You can't really do that online, although that's the way the vibram company says is best.

I think that's a bit delusional, as you really should try them on first.

I spend countless hours in my five fingered shoes.

Now I don't presume to speak for people with foot problems or podiatrist or advocates of the barefoot style. I don't side with any of them. The only reason I am going barefoot is that it was something that I felt like I should do. So, I am doing it.

I've been going to workouts. Excellent results. Leg strength is way up, but that's due to the stability of not wearing a training shoe. Some weight lifters go barefoot anyway.

I've also felt a need to get in touch with the ground a lot more. It's no kind of religious or metaphysical thing. I consider that I need to get in touch with my body in the way nature should interact with it a whole lot more closely.

If the idea of having your toes separated is not ideal for you, I would suggest trying the vivo barefoot. I do have to say it is more expensive than the vibram. (btw, the vibram fivefingers was 2007's time magazine invention of the year)

I don't know if it's made me feel lighter, but I am enjoying the experience so much that I want a second pair.

I actually purchased a 2nd pair on e-bay, but it turned out to be the completely wrong size. I'll resell them later this summer as they are perfect for the colder months. I'd love a pair just like them in my size.

Which only makes me want 2 more pairs. The "classic" for the very basic use and the "flow", so I can wear them well into the later months of the year.

The "flow" replaces what I found out was a winter based shoe model, which kind of represented a boot. I kinda wished they kept producing that model. That one's pretty cool looking.

What really is a blessing?

I have pondered long and hard about this and I have arrived at some interesting conclusions.

1) A blessing is something that is written upon something else.

Think of a piece of paper. The paper is nothing more than that until it is blessed with writing. It can make it a note, a story, or even a book.

2) A blessing writes a message onto the spirit.

There is a spiritual essence/energy that exists with everything. It's what the entire world is made of. In the book "Hostage to the Devil", Malachi Martin says that "spirit is the basis of all reality" it "would not only be boring without spirit; it would have no meaning whatsoever."

3) A blessing covers, but yet reveals.

Think of it as a gift. In my taking a reiki class, I was "attuned" but when you look at the sign language for "bless" you see that it's a combination of something being blown into and laid upon. This is basically (and from a very basic level conceptually) what happens during a reiki attunement.

4) It changes the nature of the thing being blessed.

When it comes to things like blessing food, it's been researched that blessing the food will change its qualities to something that is more beneficial than before. In some cases it changes the pH from acidity to alkaline

5) It never goes away.

If you are blessed with a child, that stays with you for your entire life. The bible even claims that a blessing can exists for generations.

leading to:
6) It gets passed on from parent to child.

If you are blessed with beautiful eyes or naturally curly hair, that gets passed on to your descendants.


I am going to consider the topic more, but I am sure that intent is a part of the whole idea of blessing, which in cases of ill-intent show that a curse works in much the same way. Just take the concepts and apply the negative to them

I am looking for what can take away a blessing. Currently I have not seen anything that does so and I am sure to be questioned as to why I would want that sort of thing to be done.

If a blessing is done as some kind of binding, then even with positive intent, the result may be unwarranted. This is concerting to me, as I perceive it should be my choice whether to receive a blessing or not.

To that I will consider it further.

Reiki: A Frustrating Omen

I was preparing to travel to see my family back home in iowa, when I came across a peculiar piece of text while reading a book on paradoxes. The text was from matthew 13.

The passage from Matthew 13 reads:

53 When Jesus had finished these parables, he moved on from there.
54 Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. "Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?" they asked.
55 "Isn't this the carpenter's son? Isn't his mother's name Mary, and aren't his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas?
56 Aren't all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?"
57 And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor."
58 And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

I was told this information in preparation for the kind of response I would be expecting from my family back in iowa.

You see, my family is what you would consider as fundamentalist. In some ways it's kind of a good thing, and in other ways it's kinda bad. The ways in which it is good is that they really have a good grasp on the various passages in the bible, but in other ways, it is like a more rigid approach to concepts. Instead of understanding the concepts and applying them today, a fundamentalist will instead prefer to hold on to the ideals of eras gone by.

I used to be that way, but I don't think that's what God's been pointing me towards in the last 7 or so years. (and possibly longer)

For me, learning reiki was a matter of me learning to utilize the gift that God bestowed upon me already and becoming better at it. (I was already able to do scanning and energy transfer well before the class, as it was natural) I totally believe that reiki is a gift that comes directly from God.

However, this past weekend, I don't think everyone was seeing it that way. I gave brief moments of energy to my older brother (as he was completely wiped of energy) and my sister (who wanted some help with her sinuses), but those were just short moments where I could just pass a bit of energy. It's nowhere near the hour that it usually takes me to "perform a treatment".

I tried explaining it to my other brother, and I had him hold his hand out. He said it's warm, but he didn't see it as healing or anything like that.

To me, it's a bit frustrating to see people who could obviously use some of the reiki energy, but they just don't seem interested or open to it. I think it's all the more frustrating when it's family.

The deal with reiki or the passage in matthew is that there is a paradox with people that need healing and their willingness to actually receive it. You can't heal with reiki if the person doesn't want to be healed. It's actually in the handbook. Not much you can do about it.

Just like the man who said he has no sin, there is someone who says that they don't need healed. Now, I don't know if I have a clue about what I am able to do or sense, but I am fairly sure I can feel people's pain and I can attest from what I have sensed that everyone could use healing.

I feel the numbness in their limbs, I feel the sharp pain in the lower back, I feel the tension in their neck and I feel their headaches behind their eyes. I sense the sadness, happiness, boredom and frustrations of the people around me.

And it frustrates me as well.

A vision from a reiki healing session. - Location found!

I had a vision during my reiki class in that I saw a forest next to a mountain. At the time I didn't know what the forest was or where it was located.

Well, I briefly meditated on the forest again and came up with the words "Mount Fugiyama". (took only seconds, before the name popped up)

It's literally an older name for mt fuji in japan (I actually didn't know that, but thanks to wikipedia, I do now.). There's a forest that runs along the base of the mountain called Aokigahara forest.

It is perhaps one of the forests in the world where people say it's definitely haunted.

I will need to think on the place further.

The place is known as one of the two most popular places for suicide. The other being the golden gate bridge in san francisco.

Reiki: What I learned... in only 1 week.

Yes, it's only been a week out from taking a reiki class, and I have learned a lot. Some of which I didn't expect.

Here's some of the more poignant facts:

1) Healing energy transfer requires you to place at least one foot flat on the ground.

I thought this was just amazing, as it literally turns off the energy being emitted from the hands for me. I don't have a decent or respectable setup at home (which would require a couple hundred dollars), so I have people lie down on the big ottoman and have people put their feet up on the couch. As I said, it's not respectable. Anyway, when I get to people's lower extremities, it becomes hard to get into the most comfortable position for both the healer and the client. So there were times where my feet wouldn't be square on the ground and basically no energy being emitted from my hands. Placing at least one foot flat on the ground makes a huge difference. As a result, I think the best approach is to go shoeless. (I could be wrong on this, but it's not like I get a lot of feedback.)

2) Healing energy is not just healing, it's power.

It certainly assisted greatly during my workouts. I've gone up drastically with the weights I am using, the recovery rate is much faster and my trainer is rather surprised. I will see how I do in week 2.

3) People really don't know much about reiki.

I kept getting the look from people that they're deer caught in headlights when it comes to what reiki is. Honestly, I don't blame them. There's a lot out there that people just don't know about. Maybe it's a priority thing. Which brings me to...

4) A lot of the problems people have can be solved with reiki.

I am sure the person that doubts stuff like reiki or think it's some kind of religious mumbo-jumbo would dismiss the idea based on their thoughts alone. That's really kind of sad, because that's exactly what reiki will help with. It's like those little addictions and little habits that are just bad for you and you can't figure out how to get rid of them are just eating away at you like a parasite and you don't even know it's there. It's because it makes you numb.

That's not it exactly, but I am just trying to give an example to relate to.

To point, the entire world is basically energy. Whether it is from the atoms within your body making it appear solid or the spaces inbetween where the energy just flows freely. Reiki is a directed energy given by the creator/God/whoever you attribute. It's a gift. It doesn't come from a healer, they just pass it along as if they are an antenna or a vessel. As long as the energy within the body flows correctly, the body is able to heal itself.

I've always considered that when it comes to any problem, the matter must be fixed. You can't just throw random solutions at a problem and expect them to work. Maybe sometimes they do, but usually they don't. You can't throw money at a financial problem until you resolve the source of the problem first. You can't heal a sick body unless you know what's wrong with it.

A quote:
Blaise Pascal – The Penses
"What is it then that this desire and this inability proclaim to us, but that there was once in man a true happiness of which there now remain to him only the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from things absent the help he does not obtain in things present? But these are all inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God Himself."

While a christian standpoint will say that the hole can only be fulfilled with faith and religion with christ, I sit here and know that even in that regard, there may still be something that faith alone did not fix.

The worst part of it all, is I didn't know that it was a problem or that it could be fixed.

Take drinking soda as an example. I used to need it pretty much on a daily basis. Anyway, I have pretty much kicked it. I still slip occasionally (once in a week, not too bad) in a restaurant, but I found that a problem was fixed during a reiki healing session (apparently my heart chakra was completely closed making me a perfect candidate for "what to do") and the next thing I know I am overall happier and I have very little cravings for stuff that's bad for me.

When you ask a reiki practitioner if something can be healed by reiki, the answer and pretty much a consistent one is "it couldn't hurt". That's pretty much what you should expect. At the very least, you are relaxed, at the most, you get a surprise in that something you thought was impossible to have healed ends up melting away. For me, it was a decade/15 year long pain and numbness in my leg.

And just like a doctor's oath, reiki will "do no harm".

5) Patience - For God is not finished with me yet.

To me, this whole thing with reiki is just another step on a process. I would say that I've personally have chosen the process, but instead I have chosen to follow where I am led on this process. Where that leads me from day to day, I don't know. I haven't lost the faith I have and I haven't changed my understanding of the universe or how it all works. However, I have learned some things along the way, and experience some of the more diverse selections life has to offer.

This whole thing is not over anytime soon, that's for sure.

Another dream? - a rerajahan?!?

Disclaimer: This dream was a weird one. I don't expect to be able to explain any part of it nor do I understand the partial conclusion I have found at this time.

It was toward the end of a dream actually, in most of the dream I had this uncomfortable feeling of being watched. This manifest itself by rooms not fully lit. As I was walking in a hallway toward a room I was intending to go it, what I thought was my brother behind me made a move.

I know it wasn't my brother at that point, which I can explain. However, the move made was to come around me quickly from behind and kiss me. It was almost as if someone came up from behind you and gave you a really hard passionate kiss and then to their surprise they jump back and say "you're not my spouse!"

Anyway...

When that happened, a flurry of images flew into my head. So quickly and so numerously that I couldn't be able to account for a single one. It only took a second, but after that I was shown a rather peculiar image.

This image is best described as an animal's body with a human head on it. Behind the head is what could be described as one of the representations of a lotus flower. However it was one that was more square in appearance and design.

The word that entered my mind to describe the image was "Dragon". This is of course probably not what it actually was, but it gave me a clue to what it could be when I finally got on the computer this morning.

If you do an image search in google on "dragon" and "rerajahan", you will probably see the closest thing to what I saw. What you find looks more like a tiger with a human head, but again, it's the closest...

Closely tied to that is the concept of rerajahan. I didn't even know what that meant until I looked it up less than an hour ago, and in some ways I am still not totally convinced.

Regardless, rerajahan is some kind of balinese magic drawing. The purpose of such a drawing is to:

1. to get protection and magical power from the god that is drawn in the rerajahan for example the power to prevent rain
2. to purify the body and soul
3. to enhance the spiritual power of someone or something
4. to get a unique talent or power, for example ability to run fast or can not be seen
5. to get sympathy or admiration from other
6. to drive away pestilence, or bad luck
7. to protect the house compound, rice field, village or children
8. to prevent or negate physical or magical attack from the enemy
9. to harm or kill the enemy

Mind you some of those may not apply in this situation.

Anyway, the dream shocked me awake as in the upper right corner of my vision I see someone watching me. I have determined that when a person shows up in my vision like that, that they are 1) a spirit or non physical entity of some sort and 2) not really in my dreams, but choosing to show themselves there I've seen several instance of people looking at me in my dream state, so it's something that I have been analyzing. There has been an instance or two in coming out of a dream where I see a person that I think I see the person standing in the room. Albeit briefly.

So as I am coming out of the dream, I see sparkles, not a lot just a couple of sparkly lights right above me and the bed. They disappear quickly. I will state for the record, that I do not usually see sparkles in my vision.

Now, I don't subscribe to pretty much anything indian/hindu in nature. I personally don't have a great interest in it. As to why the imagery was the way it appeared, I really can't tell you. The only reason I think it's a rerajahan, is because of the brief internet search I did.

It's not perfect. It's a really sloppy research job, but it gives me a reference point from which I can compare against if I need it in the future. I don't expect to give this much more thought anytime soon.

The only questions that remain about the dream are:
1) who is the guy that gave me that image? I don't know him.
2) what was the point of the flurry of images?
3) why that image?

Any other question I can answer, I just can't explain it. Maybe that's the point? No, there's no lesson to be learned here. If anything it's a sign. But it's not a sign of warning. It's a sign to remind me of something. I have a fairly good memory, so if it's something I've forgot, I find it very unlikely. However, if it's something I will need at a later date, then I guess I get to carry it with me.

Until such time as its needed.

Reiki: My first tesimonial!

Okay, so I have only been doing reiki for ummm... 2 days.

In that time, I've did a session on my wife and my sister in law. Those went pretty well.

Now I have a coworker who has had some serious medical issues, and I got to see first hand earlier this year how severe they were.

So yesterday, I had a brief e-mail conversation and decided to forgo doing reiki in person first and doing a remote healing just to get the process going. Basically anything I could do to help, I wanted to do.

So today, I took some time during my lunch break and did another reiki send and this is what she said in reply:

"I can’t believe it, I am able to move my arm back more than I have in the last several months—I can’t move it back all the way, and it is painful when I put my arm behind my back—but I couldn’t even move it back that far since I hurt it. I’ll let you know tomorrow, how it did throughout the day!"

The comment really warms my heart.

I hope that I will find the time soon to drive up to the office so I can do a reiki session for her.

I asked if I could quote her and she said, "Sure—maybe I’ll be able to give you an even better quote as time goes by. Again, thanks!"

Reiki: Start Healing

Rei-ki. By definition it means "conscious god energy".

I just took my first steps in learning about the proper techniques and allowing myself to allow this conscious energy to flow.

(I must learn as a child and see every situation as new.)

The whole thing behind this is that for a long time I have been trying to figure out why my hands are so warm. The phrase "cold hands/warm heart" was kind of an insult. It basically says to me, that I have no love to give or compassion. Basically, it makes me feel like I am some kind of megalomaniac dictator. Basically Hitler.

On a random web search I came across a story involving a princess Martha Louise of Norway, which said that her "unusually warm hands" were a result of her naturally being able to transmit reiki energy.

I have unusually warm hands. Well that was before the class, but I am getting ahead of myself.

So, in my usual fashion, I trust myself to the winds of fate. Literally. If the winds say to go here, I go here. If they say go there, I go there. I should note that I interchange "winds of fate" with "will of god". To me they're just words describing the same process. You can pretty much use whichever one suits you best, in my opinion.

It was after that where I had finally put down verbally what I was looking for in a job. I was working downtown and didn't like the commute. Being subject to those "winds", we found that new work opportunity very close to home.

A couple of years working there, "will" moved again, and the company relocated to wheeling. It would be a longer commute, if I worked in the office, but as fate willed, I found that working from home was immensely more efficient.

In that transition, new team members came on and in that late summer early fall, I had a rather unique conversation with one of my coworkers. The whole subject was about ghosts, as during the early summer me and my wife spent a very interesting two nights at the infamously haunted lemp mansion. (totally worth it, if you can respect the ghosts there) In that conversation, I learned about someone from bolingbrook (same town I am in) that does ghost hunting.

(Intrigued indeed!)

It was later in the fall around october and I thought I would be able to meet this person and talk at an octoberfest party. Well, they didn't really show, and I wasn't really comfortable there with all of the people I really didn't know. Mostly I felt like I do a lot of the time... I don't know if I totally belong.

So fast forward, I finally learn about the ghost hunter(cindi muntz) and find out that she's a reiki teacher.

To me, it's not just about learning reiki, it was to learn to do it right. I needed the pure stuff, basically as original as it can get. I didn't want to be muddied down by someone's idea of how it works for them or anything like that. So basically I needed to learn Usui reiki.

So, I figured the next time I saw a usui reiki class, that would be the one I would take. Guess whose class came up first.

Coincidence! No, not really. I gave up on coincidence long ago. There's really no such thing, unless you mean the word literally as akin to synchronicity.

So I signed up. I know I had the reiki energy flowing in me... well, kinda. But I wanted so badly to do it right. I had prepared myself well before hand.

I took the whole day before as a fast. I had water and some flavored water as the only things I had during the day. I had prepared a notebook and chose one of my favorite pens to write with. I even had a recorder in case I missed something. I was so ready to learn.

Except that the recorder was a major faux-paus! I was quite amiss. I felt like I have insulted my teacher and all of teachers before her. There is no apology that would express how I feel about this. It was a mistake on my part and in my eagerness, I took a wrong turn. *sigh* :(

The entire class was an enjoyable one. The whole reason it works is due to the fact that the body is literally energy. You think about the size of the molecules in an atom and realize that with as much space as in an atom, that it is what makes our bodies feel solid. Again, it's literally energy.

So you could apply science about the particle flow of energy or the wave formations of energy, but it really comes down to some simple concepts. Those being auras, chakras and meridians.

Meridians is basically what acupuncture works with. It's an interconnected system within the body. It's not really required to do reiki, but there were a couple of points that help people relax. We learned two of them.

And no I am not telling you the specifics. Attend a reiki class yourself!

Auras are basically the emission of energy from the body. I've been able to see this for a long time, but to me, it's a literal force field around the body. If you want to know what it feels like, find someone that you don't know that well and stand close to them... then closer... and even closer. That uncomfortable feeling is the other person's aura. Some people call it "personal space", but whatever you call it, it is an extension of yourself. You may not see it, but that doesn't mean that it's not there.

Finally Chakras. These are energy points along the brain/spinal cord path of the body. It starts at the top of the head and ends at the tip of your tail bone. I heard once that doctors that deal with MRI's know about these and have seen them on MRI scans, but I have heard the exact opposite too. Take faith on that one, I guess. As energy/spirit/soul/whatever you call it, moves through the body it does so via these junctures. A problem with these locations may and usually do translate literally to an illness or an emotional distress.

The whole point of reiki is to clear out the junk in the energy system and allow the natural power of healing from god to do its job properly. It can produce anything from a simple de-stress to a healing of a chronic injury. When it's done (properly), the "client" for lack of a better word, is left feeling great.

There's a bit of weirdness to it where symbols are used and while I won't go into that very much, I just want people to know that when those symbols were encoded on my soul (again for lack of a better word) that they have been speaking, reciting and singing their songs to me. These are "sacred", but in another way very personal. I suspect everyone in the class sees the symbols differently due to the experience.

Speaking of the encoding/attunement, when was the last time you meditated for an hour? Well, 45 minutes, and hour. Either way, I meditated for that long. It's not really prayer at that time, as it actually comes later. No, seriously. Prayer is important too. You can't really wind down by watching tv, although some people try. The real issue is that you have to wind down, and the best way I know is to meditate and let the chattering thoughts go away. They do eventually. It take a bit of work at first, but you'll find yourself one day just sitting in a chair outside, letting the world pass on by. And you'll be fine with that.

The main part of reiki to the everyday person is done by scanning and then healing touch. Even before I took the class, I scanned people. I was totally able to tell where a person had pain, because you could feel it in their auric energy field. It could be a thickness, a hole or even a bump.

At one point, I could even feel tendrils. This is unusual and is really not part of reiki, but when I felt tendrils, my thoughts were to pull them out. I don't even begin to even know what healing tradition that comes from. Maybe it doesn't exist? No, I could never be that.

So I learned how to scan properly. That doesn't mean I did it right the first couple of times, but hey! I am trying my best!

Next came the healing hands. I know I was doing this wrong, because I was trying to push energy through. Yeah, totally wrong. It's all a matter of hands on and letting it flow naturally. And when it's done, it shuts off. Totally shuts off on its own! That was really weird to me.

Anyway, I had my turn as the group did a healing on one person at a time. Apparently my heart chakra was blocked. I wasn't really sure, I was relaxed and turned into this "guinea pig" for the class. Anyway, it was opened.

For those that know anything about the heart chakra, you must realize I have been in a semi-emotional state since that point. There's probably something else that I need to work through in order to keep the block from closing again.

There was a time around a 8-9 years ago where I was on depression medication for pretty much no reason. I am not even sure I could say why.

Now because of the blockage and the result of the class, I can heal myself through healing others. It's something that I want to do.

I feel that the unusually warm hands that I have been given are a gift from which I can share. I can only hope that by sharing I can help others. I alone don't want to change the world for the better, but if I can play a part, then I want to help.

I think that's my new mantra: I just want to help.

My training went to level 2, and that is fine until the master training later this summer. It gives me ample opportunity to practice. And you can believe me, that I want to be good at it. I want to be insanely good, but there's only one problem.

I can guarantee nothing. I can't promise the perfect solution. All I can do is give you a gift of healing. It comes from god and that is all.

On a final note, after I got the "supercharge"/attunements, my hands are even warmer than before... and a touch sweaty.

How do you clean sweat off a keyboard?

Spokeo.com don't know me.

Okay, so I find out that from people on facebook about this website called spokeo.com which not only uses all of the information that's collected about you, but it also displays it for everyone to see. (and for a fee, you can view some of the more sensitive information)

Well, you can opt-out, by clicking on the privacy tag...

But what got me, was how WRONG it is about me.

Let me explain some of them.

-Hobbies are sports, reading and photography.

If you're not laughing right now, you should be. I am totally not much about sports. Yes I like an occasional football game, but that's like saying I like a good burger. However, I like the burger more than the game.

Reading, while I do read, I am not what you would call a very heavy reader. For example, I read comic books. And then even at that, I don't really read them. Sometimes the pictures are okay.

And Photography. WHAT?!? Yeah, I am not into photography. I mean, WOW! Could it be more incorrect?

- Estimated Home Value $1M+

If they're saying my home is worth more than a million dollars, either I got screwed or someone is off by a decimal point or two.

- Plays Sports

More humor there as at 300 pounds, the only sport I am playing at is fishing, and that's not really a sport now is it?

- Loves Reading

Ummm, no. Not really.

- Reads about sports

No I don't.

- Reads about world news and politics

The only thing I read out of the sunday newspaper is the comic strips. Not that the tribune's strips are any good. Some days I even skip that section as well.

- Subscribes to magazines

I have no idea where they got that. I don't subscribe to my comic books (they're ordered month to month). And I actually don't read any magazines.

- Enjoys photography

Depending on the picture, everyone likes a good picture... but wait, you mean me taking them? Heh, no.

- Donates to causes and Donates to health causes

Oh, they really don't know me that well.

They also say that my house has no fireplace (yes it does), no central heating (yes it does) and no central air (you better believe it does).

Oh and 3 people live in the house. I can't figure that one out, as it says we have no children.

I got my chuckles and then deleted my entry. Seriously!

A little girl in the bedroom. / My "guide"

Last night as we were laying in bed about to turn the lights out, I swear that out of the corner of my eye, that there was a little girl standing by the bedroom door and holding on to the doorknob as if just playfully hiding behind the door.

Anyway, as soon as I said there was a little girl in the room, my wife melissa started describing the girl... accurately!

Anyway, the girl's description is that she was small like a 4 or 5 year old. Had long hair that was put into either a pony tail or pigtails (can't remember exactly). The most prominent feature was her dress. It was a older style dress white and red plaid all over it. It had a cute little white apron like look to the front. The sleeves were puffy as well.

We don't know who she was, so I asked my spirit guide/angel/ringing sound in my ears, the following questions.

Is she a family member?
Yes
Is she a family member that's passed away.
No
Is she a family member that's yet to be born?
No


Just to reiterate, I "talk" with this "guide" through ringing in my ears. Sometimes, I don't hear anything at all, while other times it's a certain ringing in the ear. It's similar to tinnitus, but it's intelligent. I worked out that since the ringing is mostly in my left ear that a ring in that ear is a yes, and a ring in my right ear is a no.

And it seems like there is a concerted effort to say no, as something appears to move through my vision prior to a "no" ringing.

Anyway, now you know as much as we figured out. Pretty creepy, huh?

Anyway, about the guide/angel/whatever, he (seems like a man) seems fairly content to just provide information on an as-needed basis. Which either means that he's some kind of supervisor making sure I don't screw up, he's supposed to be helpful and I am not getting all of the necessary information, or he's got some kind of intent which hasn't manifest at this point.

I think the latter is completely untrue. Lots of ringing in the right ear when I mention that.

I don't think malevolence is intended, but when I am just not getting the message, the intensity goes up in my left ear to the point where I will receive a headache. And when i finally figure out what he's getting at, it immediately goes away.

When I think about the ear ringing (which I only figured out a month ago), I can go all the way back to grade school when the ringing was manifesting.

What happened, is that during the ear tests, I would get this ringing sound that would obscure the beeps coming through the headphones. It would cause me to not do well during the test. Sometimes the ringing would stop and I would be fully able to hear the beeps.

Those that know me, can attest that I listen to music differently. I can pick out the different instruments much more easily. However, words are a problem. To me lyrics in a song are like conversations at a crowded party. I can't really make them out very well.

Maybe that's why all of the communication with the "guide" is in these ringing tones?


(edit 6/21/10) just watching an episode of red dwarf (season 5, episode 4: Quarantine), they mentioned that the kind of dress we saw was a "gingham" dress. Gingham is a type of fabric made from two colors of thread creating a crosshatch/checkerboard pattern on the cloth. The introduction of the cloth was in the 17th century and is still used today.

I didn't know about the gingham dress.

Tolerate this!

I would say I have a pretty open mind. By that, I can say that as someone who grew up as an evangelical christian, that I have no problem with someone who decides to follow some other religion or tradition.

My problem is this. These people have chosen their way of life, it shows a lack of respect to the individual to say that they are or are not living life in the way one person would perceive as correct.

Basically a fundamentalist behavior is that if someone doesn't believe what the fundamentalist believes then they are relegated to some punishment as part of the fundamentalist's belief. Whether that is "the eternal damnation of hell" or as the target of a suicide bomber's jihad. While we perceive these to be true from within our faiths, we are subject to the more serious problem of coexistence. The behavior is one of exclusion. We would rather choose to condemn and reject rather than embrace and fellowship.

To me, this denotes the major problem within the world today.

I have found that no matter the person, no matter their beliefs, no matter what color, nationality, linguistic skills or even gender, that the person is potentially someone who you can benefit learning from.

However, if you can't see that, then there may not be help for you. I mean, why would someone who claims a singular exclusivity on heaven want to commune with others? By separation on earth that means communion with humanity in heaven!?! To me that's a paradox.

I mean, if you have so much of a problem with other people here and now, why would you think you'll get along with them better when you're dead?

Assuming that even if there is a singly true faith and that only those enter heaven, the one thing intolerance does is show that despite the devotion and piety, the reflection of one's soul fails completely to show the compassion and happiness within.

And to that, I say it must be stopped. It can't start with me, I don't have the problem. I am completely tolerant and pleased with the people that do not agree with me. I only attempt to assist if someone has a issue with resolving their beliefs. You gotta believe in something.

No, really. You HAVE to BELIEVE in SOMETHING!!!

And when you're done figuring it out, tell someone. Tell me, if you want. I like a good story. Or a bad one. I've read a few of those as well.

A library, a book and a throne

This is a dream-like vision I had on the morning of April 15, 2010:

I was kind of in and out of sleep this morning, so as I drifted, I ended up at a huge building that I have seen before in my dreams. It's a museum of sorts, anyway they have records of everything ever. They asked me if I wanted to look up something and I couldn't think of anything at first, but then I remembered the ceiling fan incident and had them look it up. The ceiling fan just broke, is what I was told and the angel that James saw was one of the guardian angels, I believe the words spoken were "archangel michael". Anyway, the message they gave him at that moment is "I am always with you." Further in the record, it says that he has the ability to hear the angels speak, but hasn't paid attention or noticed. I asked who else had that ability, and my mom has it.

After that, they took me to see the book of life. To put it into scale, imagine a book that is as big as a house when opened up. Seraphim angels with their wings fly to and fro around the book bringing names to a scribe. The scribe was the most disturbing part as he was barely flesh upon bones. They must have him doing it as a punishment from hell or something as he is tasked to write everyone's names in the book. He is also missing his legs and is wearing a very worn cloak over the top part of his body. Thousands upon thousands of names adorn every page, and from the looks of it, they were on one of the last pages. The book looks leather and gold bound and like I said, just massive. I was able to inquire if a name was in the book, and was given the confirmation that the names I gave were in fact in the book.

(note, the book of life was represented as something other than the library's records, this was a unique experience as some say that "akashic records" are the book of life. I guess there's a slight difference in that one's a book while the other is a library. Semantics, I guess. I do wonder if the images were presented in the manner they were, is that is the only way I could understand them.)

After that, I was taken to a huge amphitheater. There in the seats of the amphitheater were representatives of every known creature I could think of and some that I didn't. Crazy enough, some looked more like something out of the muppet show than anything else. At the apex of the amphitheater was a throne built out of many, many galaxies. I was told that this is where God sits and views creation.

My alarm clock went off about at that point, so I woke up soon after that.

Way overtired.

Lately I have found myself not getting enough sleep. So today I am probably about as tired as I could possibly be.

Not even caffeine in a souped up energy drink is helping.

I confess, I do like the occasional energy drink, but it's not something that I have often. I like the sensation of messing up my internal vibration.

I know caffeine has the ability to increase heart rate and blood flow, but it's not comprehensive, so in the overall run, it's not really that effective for long term awake-ness.

Lately it's just a matter of not going to bed in good enough time. That's just bad planning on some regard. Anyway, at least it is not attributable to the inaudible voices in the night.

On the other hand, I get the impression lately that the earplugs aren't as effective in keeping out the inaudible voices. In this excessively tired state I am still waken up at odd periods throughout the night.

As I write, I am currently reading the book of isaiah. I suppose if it's God speaking to me, there's not a whole lot I can do about it. Who wants to be the one that tells God to stop talking?

I sure don't want to. What if what you're supposed to hear is important? Anyway, at this point, thinking about it makes me even more tired than I already am.

Jabberwocky

I was in junior high school (grades 7-9) when I memorized this poem by Lewis Carroll.

Over 20 years later, I still remember most of the poem, but I always get tripped up about half way through. Recently the poem has been the center concept behind a couple of movies. Most recently the Tim Burton "Alice in Wonderland" was one to utilize this tale, but perhaps my favorite adaptation of the poem was the movie "the last mimsy".

'All Mimsy were the borogroves' is the line. What does it mean? Well, the movie combined time travel and human advancement in a way that brought in the innocence of children while countering it with an adult's misunderstanding and hardening of a willingness to accept something new like a child would. Maybe that's what Carroll tried to get us to do. By that I mean try something new and unexpected.

Alas, that's not what carroll meant. Mimsy is actually a reference to being miserable and flimsy. Hence the word mimsy or possibly miserimsy. The borogroves refers to a type of bird. A miserable and flimsy bird.

This is two ways to look at dreams and aspirations. On the one hand, they are new and exciting, while another way is to see them as depressing and a waste of time. When properly defined, the stanza refers to a kind of mediocrity. It's the feeling that life begins to become stale.

Carroll's intent was to write a poem badly, but even bad poems have their own sense about them. That stale existence of the first and last stanza combined with a determination as to how to write badly has now become a refocusing and innovation. Anyone who has ever tried reading the "coney island of the mind" could tell you that a meaningless poem is never truly meaningless.

The only difference between "coney island of the mind" and "jabberwocky", is that you don't need music for reciting "jabberwocky".

Seriously.

To that regard, the poem reads:

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Now for something I know I really like.

I'm paraphrasing Rocky and Bullwinkle there.

Of all the stuff I've watched, a couple of shows stand out as the ones that I think are fun to watch and are the ones I turn to time and time again.

Torchwood - As I am typing this, I have an episode of torchwood playing in another window right next to this one. I like this show more than Dr. Who even though they were run by the same guy for the past couple of years. It moves fast and usually involves one of those twists and turns that you'd expect from an M. Knight Shamalayan film. The theme music to the show is pretty cool too.

Fringe/X-Files/Millennium - To me it is the "let's try to figure it out" mindset that these shows sit upon. They're fun, especially when I think they got it right. Of the 3 fringe is probably the most impressive, while yet it is the most singly focused. Fringe's focus is science. X-files was the paranormal. Millennium was the dark side of humanity.

Farscape - I just started watching this and I am overall impressed with a show that flows well from episode to episode. A sci-fi show in the vein of startrek and babylon 5, it's all from the perspective of the human character on the show. Basically it's US on a journey. I think that's what people want in a good story.

Babylon 5 - In it's 5 year run, it's not a series of stories. From the beginning it all flows into a single story and ends with year 5 completing the story. I guess I am not surprised they tried to continue the story after that, but if you ignore them, the simple 5 year run is about as good as you can get.

Futurama - I can't get enough of this show. I can watch the same episodes over and over and over. Of all of the cartoon shows created, this one combines whimsy with the ability to not insult your intelligence. At some point in the show each character shines. For example, volume 3 is the best zoidberg episodes, with the exception of the one that actually features the crazy lobster.

Honorable Mention:
House - I was really enjoying this show until it started to get a little stale. It used to be mostly about a sardonic genius figuring out medical mysteries. Basically a medical version of sherlock holmes. (holmes, house, get it?) Anyway, the show has slowly moved toward the main characters instead of the patients. The way the show seems to be heading, they might not be in a hospital at some point. I still watch it, but I am slowly becoming less and less interested.

random stuff and EVP classifications

Edit: I am augmenting this entry due to something I noticed on the Ghost Hunters episode from 4/7/2010.

I posted more stuff from the lemp mansion recording on that thread. I apologize if I seem to be harping on the subject.

I was trying to see what the concepts behind EVP classification were and why they were classed as A, B and C. It turns out that Raymond Cass came up with that somewhere in the 70s. I guess. Anyway, in looking at those classifications and then comparing it to the audio I am painfully going through. (okay, so i am bored with listening to me and my wife sleep) I figure that the 3 classifications can be expanded to at least 5.

Cass has his classified as:
A - Easily Heard
B - Fairly loud and clear and sometimes audible with headphones
and
C - Soft and indecipherable

This fails to take into account more recent technology and techniques, so I propose a new set of classifications:
A - Easily understood without any audio manipulation. Also the audio in question shows up on a audio/frequency display.
B - Easily understood without any audio manipulation but does not appear on an audio/frequency display.
C - Somewhat understood, but easily understood after audio manipulation.
D - Somewhat understood after audio manipulation or a result of signal artifacts. (robotic sounding no matter how clear is a result of audio artifacting and should not be considered anything above a C in my book)
E - Not completely understandable but still present in the audio after audio manipulation.
F - Barely able for trained ear to hear. (or after listening to audio for hours)

Edit: I have made a change to classify the difference between a class A and the new class B. Everything else has been shifted by one letter. There could be an argument for class B being switched with class A. The reason for that order, is that in a true class A EVP, you should be able to look at the graphic representation of an audio clip and see that there is something there. Class B would mean that you can easily hear it, but can't see the audio visually. A spectral analysis would be in order at that point. However, I do not have enough pieces of evidence of class A and B EVP's to make a definitive analysis about the results from spectral analysis. I would be ever so happy to entertain such clips for further study. (end edit.)

I base this on the grading system from grade school through college. Frankly, if you're getting a E or F, yeah it's probably an EVP, but who really wants to hear it.

I did get a chance to hear some class A EVP's and those are really nice. Pretty much all of my lemp mansion audio is C- through F. I am not completely proud of the quality, but I wasn't about to sacrifice comfort for a disembodied voice.

I tried audacity again for the first time in awhile to see if it was any help in working with the lemp mansion recordings I have, and to be honest, I freaking hate the thing. It wouldn't pull in the audio from the recorder (apparently WMV is a premium format, so it's only available in the beta software). The equalizer in the software was pretty useless, as all it had were presets. I stopped trying to get the darned thing to work before I had successfully chomped off my arm.

Don't get me wrong, cakewalk has its issues as well.

So in the past year, I started documenting anything and everything that strikes me. It's all a part of this idea that I have that I'm not really driving right now, but instead riding. Perhaps a surfer would be a good analogy here (or not, I have no idea), as the wave takes me from one location to another.

Do I have a clue where I am headed? At this point, I am saying no, because really. I have no clue. If I did know, then I wouldn't be spewing these random thoughts onto a blog. On one hand I wish I did know where I was headed, and on the other, I really don't want to know.

Maybe it's more like a roller coaster. Lots of twists and turns, perhaps a loop, but at the end you still end up safe where you need to be.

I know this much, it feels like I am riding backwards. I can't see where I am going any more than I can see the wind. Yeah I can tell which direction it blows, but if it swirls, then I have no clue.

It works though. It's a really fun ride. I can say that I enjoy the experience very much, even though it takes me in directions I did not see myself going. So why fight it?

It's just as simple as the release of floating on water. I am better off by not fighting against it. It's kind of like living in Ecclesiastes 3.

My take on the reality ghost shows

I like watching paranormal shows. It begs the question as to what reality truly is. I know people try to explain it or rationalize it away, but that's a really poor way to face the world in general. One should not be fully accepting or fully skeptical. We should always have a mind for discerning. Take each piece of evidence given and weigh it on its own merit. I think doing so would create a more harmonious view of the world as a whole.

I am sure I am missing one or two, but I think when you see what I think of these, you'll pretty much figure out how I feel about the genre in general.

Anyway, here I go:

Celebrity Ghost Stories - Fascinating stories, but for an hour long show, I think we only have 15 minutes of actual story being told. Reality tv has really cheapened a show's content. How many times can you show the same clip on one show? Is 5 times too many? I guess not.

Destination Truth - Basically this show is what happens if you give a paranormal fan with a voice for radio and face for television whatever he wants. Ghost hunting in the radioactive wasteland of chernobyl? Sure! Looking for a mermaid off of the coast of israel? Sure! Helicopter searches for the jersey devil? Okay. If they find anything, sometimes it's a surprise. Not for a second do I think they have a chance in actually seeing anything, but I guess they're pretty lucky. I wouldn't call it a thorough investigation, that would just be impossible by any means. As for finding the truth? I don't think that's possible either.

Extreme Paranormal - The ghostman and demonhunter show on tv. The podcast is fun and sometimes informative (i'm kidding, it's not informative), but the whole show came of as some kind of ghost adventures meets jackass. Perhaps innovative in trying to investigate an underwater ghost town, it falls flat as you can't really see anything. I've never seen anyone try harder to be stupid about something, but here it was.

Ghost Adventures - 3 guys locked overnight with just a set of cameras and whatever equipment they could carry. Sounds like an incomplete investigation. However, they are picking up some of the more interesting ghost related phenomena on camera. I only wish that they didn't feature themselves and it's really insulting to the level that goes. It leaves me at times saying "really?" And if you want to know where they got all of that weird equipment? Digitaldowsing.com Now you know.

Ghost Hunters - The big ratings boomer for SyFy. When your primary focus is to debunk rather than capture and establish, the idea that they are hunters seems to go out the door. The editing on the show doesn't represent the actual investigation, but even at that, sometimes I wonder if they are even "trying" to find ghosts or if they just happen to catch stuff by accident.

Ghost Hunters International/Ghost Hunters Academy - Different name, same show. They aren't finding much on any of them.

Ghost Lab - I will give a hand to the klinge brothers for their differing techniques, but I am a bit put off by what they end up with. I mean, they went to lemp mansion, and I went to lemp mansion. They got a dog barking/yelping, and I got that and more. And I am not part of any professional team! I just turned a recorder in my room and went to sleep. I'll try to calm down, but I would expect more from a group of professionals. I don't expect the TAPS team to find anything because of their approach, but come on! This is the 2nd show on ghosts and they are coming away with NOTHING!!! Okay, next to nothing. I so badly want to see Ghost Hunters take on Lemp, because I know that they couldn't possibly do better with a location once called one of the 10 most haunted locations in the US.

A Haunting - The show dramatized the most extreme cases of haunting on the discovery channel. Eventually one of the episodes was made into the movie "A Haunting in Connecticut". Perhaps my favorite show of the lot, I felt that it kept it as true as possible to the actual events, and presented many different aspects about haunting while not trying to insult your intelligence. I wish they were only still making this show.

The Haunted - Pets getting haunted. Apparently Animal Planet is getting in on the paranormal bandwagon. Boring as can be tho.

Most Haunted - If monty python did a ghost hunting sketch, it would be expanded upon by this crew. Most of their "vigils" are sounds of knocks and whistles combined with the "actors" (as I don't know what else to call them) getting startled and waving the camera wildly about. Toward the end they hold a seance and have a table shake wildly about before trying to use a ouija board to get some kind of idea if anything's there. To me, the show is a comedy in three acts. First is the seriousness of the location combined with random "paranormal" experiences. Second is these "vigils", which you might as well call them sketches, as it's goofy as it can get, and then you follow it up with a group goofyness. When it's all done and they try to get Dr. Okeefe to explain what went on, you're left with the idea that "they really don't know what they are doing".

Paranormal Cops - Forensics meets ghost hunting. Sounds great in theory and it turns out to be a very informative reveal when it's done. On the other hand, you can see their equipment is about as cheap as one can find. I really think the ghost meter (which can be picked up for $20) should not be a part of any serious investigation. You should give those out for people to use on "haunted house tours". The best meter for the price is the Ramsey tri-field. $74 with assembly required, it's so sensitive it'll show the magnetism of the earth! It's on my wish list. I do like their use of a report, but I could easily see a dossier for my results from lemp.

NOTE: Here's a brilliant idea to all of the shows, how about a DVD containing all of the collected materials, the poignant clips and whatever in regards to what you found!!! Okay, that may be the computer programmer in me, because that's pretty easy for me to pull off.

Paranormal State - I like this show and I hate it at the same time. On the one hand, they really are trying to help, the only problem is that sometimes it just feels like a bunch of high school/college kids doing it. It is similar to what they did with shows like "scariest places on earth" and "mtv's fear". They rely too heavily on the psychic figuring out the problems and basically resolving the issues for them. Lately they started blindfolding the psychics. I feel the show is turning a corner and heading down a road that leads to boring. There was the tremendously hyped "darkness falls" where ryan tries to refocus his group, but I think the whole episode failed for two reasons. The group never refocused and ryan was just way to cryptic. Once a season the show turns into some kind of cryptozoology field trip and the credibility is left there. Mothman? Jersey devil? Next you'll be looking for bigfoot. Honestly, we get that stuff with Destination Truth and it's not that good there either.

Let me just say in conclusion, for a professional ghost hunter, providing evidence shouldn't be a potshot kind of affair. There's plenty of techniques and getting the right one to work at the right time? That's where the professional comes in.

If you want to impress me with the paranormal, feature what is found than the people that it's about. I know for me, I would rather impress someone with what I do and how I do it rather than who I am.

Childhood fears and the unlearning process.

As one gets older the things that seem to scare us become more and more tamed and really not that scary. I remember the tense scene from Charlie and the Chocolate factory giving me nightmares. Agustus Galoop was stuck in the pipe and the intensity was more than my psyche could bear. Nowadays it is more humorous and watching Gene Wilder's portrayal of Wonka during that scene is a creepy joy.

Another scene that gave me endless nightmares was from some movie that we saw at church about the tribuation (mark of the beast). Fairly benign in most of the movie, the protagonist is taken to a guillotine and killed in that fashion. This whole thing scared me for many years, as I always felt that during the night that someone was going to come up and chop my head off. So I slept many many years with the blanket completely over my head. (as if that was any help)

Anyway, I got the opportunity to relive a bit of that childhood fear just recently. In this case, it's seeing the unexpected in the room during the middle of the night. As you may have read in previous entries that I have taken to wearing earplugs in order to eliminate something that I am hearing inaudibly. It works most of the time, except in this case, it wasn't audio that woke me. I was a little over gorged from eating and was suffering from some tummy complaints while at the same time I was becoming dehydrated. As you know I consider hydration to be one of the main factors of a proper sleep.

I was going in and out of sleep when I finally opened my eyes, and what I could see was that on the other side of the bed it appeared that someone was standing there looking at me. Well, I am not sure it was me, but I could see the person. Head completely off to one side (almost sideways) and was wearing what I could tell was a red flannel shirt. Mind you I don't have excellent vision and I didn't have my glasses on at the time, but I am fairly sure I was seeing something. I reverted back to that childhood fear and closed my eyes, but to my steeled reaction, the face was still there.

I am going to pause here, because I should mention something. I have noticed that there is some kind of dimensionality to vision. It's kind of a layering that we can ascribe scientifically. The reason why we have two eyes is for depth perception, but in some animals the placement of the eyes is something where depth perception is not the primary goal. Some lizards see in opposite directions. Personally I don't think our brains could handle the input in that fashion.

With depth perception we take two images from similar but not the same viewpoint and by combining them, we get depth or an idea of how close or far away an object seems to be.

Now if we combine the pineal gland (or as some call it the 3rd eye) in the process. Considering that the pineal is capable of receiving light based information (via the rods and cones contained in the gland), then it is possible that the 3rd level of layering can exist in between the layers of our existing eyes.

However, it is possible to close your eyes and still see through the pineal. Some scientists think that dreams may originate from this location.

Now I only speak from a scientific perspective here, because there are reports of astral travel or OBE that claim to produce memories and experiences while the spirit body is outside the corporeal body. I'll leave that alone.

SO back to seeing the face. I have my eyes fully closed, but because I didn't close all 3 eyes (pineal is a tough one to open and close) I still saw the face looking at me. (a bit clearer too as I don't wear corrective lenses for my pineal gland)

I had seen the face before. It's a bit stern as it looks at me, as the impression that I get is that I could be better than I am. At first I thought it was the spirit guide/angel/whatever that is around me, but the demeanor was such that it was non sequitur (did not follow).

So after rolling over I did feel something touch my leg and ankle. I can succinctly describe the sensation as a sudden and very light tingling. It is not even remotely close to the tingling of numbness or having your limb fall asleep on you.

I got up soon after that and went to the bathroom. First to get a drink of water and second to shock myself away from it. The childhood fear reared its ugly head and showed me something that I should unlearn.

Fear is irrational. It's a failure to process the information correctly. It's a reaction to what is unknown that flies in the face of understanding. Especially when it comes to understanding ones self.

Lately I am finding that I am understanding less and less of myself. I am going to call it a learning process, as I have nothing else to call it at this time.

Needless to say, I didn't see the figure again. I didn't know who it was. Until...

Morning came and I asked my wife if she knew anyone who wore flannel. She said her dad did. He died quite a while ago from a head injury while riding a bike. Anyway, we went about this morning and found a picture of him. When I saw the picture, a chill went down my spine and goose pimples started to form.

I've seen the pictures before, but I didn't remember the face that well. Anyway, the face was dead on. (sorry, bad pun) And while I didn't see a picture of the red flannel shirt (which I can't understand how I could see red flannel in the dark of night), I was told that my sister-in-law still has that shirt.

I am chilled. I should be able to deal with the childhood fear, but instead my primal reaction is to cower and pull back. It's almost as if I want to pull the blanket over my head again.

I need to unlearn this fear. That is for certain.

To close, I see learning as a cycle. First we learn so that we can know. Then we know so that we can share. And finally, we share so that we can learn.

That is why I share this information. It's a part of Nosce Te Impsum (to know one's self).